4 Comments

  1. Nina

    Hi Friends,

    I’m hoping someone might have time to answer this soon, as it concerns the long weekend…and I’m at a loss…

    A few years ago, an artist painted my portrait. It was a great experience and the artist was a lovely man. We corresponded by email before the portrait session so that he would have a sense of my personality, and afterwards so that he could show me a digital photo of how the portrait turned out. I really liked him, but that was the extent of our interaction.

    I’ve just received an email that the artist has died and his funeral is this Sunday. I guess the artist’s daughter simply sent it to everyone in his inbox. The email just gives a street address for the funeral home, not the name of the town–I suspect it’s somewhere about 2 hours from me, where he was from.

    It would be challenging for me to attend, and also probably not appropriate–I didn’t really know the man. Should I respond that I can’t be there? Or is it wrong of me not to try to attend? Instead, I would like to send a card, but the email does not provide an address. Would it be in appropriate to email back and ask for one? I don’t want to bother strangers at such a sad time, but nor do I want not to acknowledge this loss.

    Help!
    Thanks!
    Nina

    • Winifred Rosenburg

      Considering your extremely limited relationship with this person, I don’t think you have to go to the funeral. It sounds like the email was intended to spread information and that’s it, so it’s not necessary to explain that you won’t be attending.

      I think responding and asking for the address would be fine so you can send a card (a letter would be better though). I think it’s worth trying to find the address online first so you can potentially save them the trouble of responding during what must be a stressful time.

  2. Josephine

    A month ago my husband and I invited our group to a party on Memorial Day. This morning I received an email saying that the 90 year-old mom (also an invitee) of one of the guests is very ill. There were to be a total of 9 people at the party. My question is should I cancel the party, given that the mom, and her daughter and husband will probably not be able to come? Would it be disrespectful to continue with the plans for the other guests, or not?

    • Winifred Rosenburg

      I think it’s fine to go ahead with you plans. I would call or send a letter to the mother wishing her well.

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