1. Winifred Rosenburg

    I don’t really understand why EPI says you must give a gift if you are invited to a wedding even if you don’t go. Of course that is an option, but if you get an invitation and think “Why am I invited to this?” the option of declining the invitation and not giving a gift is always there. Otherwise some couples can and will send invitations to people they barely know and don’t expect or want to actually come so that they’ll be required to send a gift, and according to EPI’s rule the invitee can’t do anything to remove that obligation.

    • Joanna

      I agree. I – as well as many others I know – have a number of extended family members in a particular European country. I can’t tell you how many invitations we regularly get for events ranging from christenings to weddings – events that the hosts must certainly know we are not likely to hop a plane and attend. So IMO those invitations are very clearly money-grubbing, which is just plain tacky.

      • Rachel

        I also agree that if you’re given an invitation to a wedding of people you don’t know, it’s fine to send a nice card of congratulations and nothing further.

        In my circle of (very large extended) family and friends, sending invitations to people who live far away is done more as an announcement. People aren’t expected to attend or send gifts, the invitation is sent more so far flung family know they are thought of, and wish that they could be there to celebrate.

  2. Joanna

    I’m a bit confused on why the supervisor felt the need to have everyone give a group gift when it seems people were already giving individual gifts….in my experience, if someone in your workplace has an occasion, you’d do either one or the other, but not BOTH.

  3. Ruth Peltier

    It is my understanding that even if you gave a shower gift a wedding gift is expected. This is true even if you do not attend the the wedding as stated in the original answer.

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