Open Thread

by epi on April 4, 2013

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Dan Barfield April 4, 2013 at 10:45 am

Are there any etiquette rules for who should be asked to be wedding attendants?

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Alicia April 4, 2013 at 1:48 pm

There are no rules. The attendants need only be close enough to the bride and groom that they are desired and would view it as an honor not a hassle to dress up in the attire and do the attendant aspects. You can have bridesmen or groomsmaids. You can have married or single people. You can have lots of attendants(This does up cost and decrease honor) or none. You can have uneven numbers on the bride and groom side. It is up to the bride and groom and those who they ask to be wedding attendants.

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Dan Barfield April 4, 2013 at 2:12 pm

So, one would be correct in assuming that it would not be in poor taste to ask the brother of the groom to be a groomsman without asking the sister of the groom to be an attendant?

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Alicia April 4, 2013 at 2:29 pm

It would not be in poor taste. However that does not mean that the sister of the groom might not have her feelings hurt for not being asked to be either a groomsmaid or bridesmaid. It is perfectly within ettiquette but that does not mean that feelings may not be hurt and it may be worth asking just for family harmony. But nobody should ever feel that they are automatically supposed to be a wedding attendant.

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Elizabeth April 4, 2013 at 5:17 pm

I just wanted to add that it is totally possible to have the sister of the groom stand up as a groomswoman and not as a bridesmaid (if that is a concern for you).

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Lady Antipode April 4, 2013 at 11:20 pm

All other things being equal (that is, there are no other issues with the lady in question), it might alleviate her feelings if you ask her to do a reading or some other special thing at the wedding itself.

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