Expected Expenses: The destination wedding

by epi on April 24, 2013

Q: Regarding a destination wedding, who pays for the guests travel?

A: Guests are expected to pay for their own travel expenses.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Joanna April 24, 2013 at 1:19 pm

This is why, in my opinion, the entire concept of destination weddings is incredibly self-centered and rude. Going somewhere is typically what the honeymoon is for. Asking friends and family to drop big money on airfare and hotel accomodations for YOUR big day — and on top of it, to buy you a gift — is mighty presumptuous in my eyes. Yes, of course, guests have the option of declining. But if it’s family or close friends, they might feel a bit awkward about doing that, even if finances or other circumstances really do prevent their easily attending, and then wind up suffering because of it.

I was out of work due to serious illness at the time a good friend was getting married across the country. While on the surface you’d think that I would have had a good solid excuse for not attending, my friend initially did not take it well. I was truly wondering if the friendship would survive. Luckily it did, but I’m sure there are many situations where sadly it doesn’t,.

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Winifred Rosenburg April 24, 2013 at 2:14 pm

I totally agree! Why drag all your guests on your honeymoon?

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jordi June 15, 2013 at 9:36 pm

Beautifully put! Couldn’t agree more. It all seems so self-centered.

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Cyra April 24, 2013 at 4:59 pm

Destination weddings are tricky. I understand why couples do them–who hasn’t dreamed of a wedding in some gorgeous location?–but I think there are two things a couple considering such a wedding should absolutely consider:

1. It’s likely going to be small. 200 people are not going to fly across the world to see you get married unless you run in wealthy circles.

2. If there are people you absolutely must have at your wedding, having an honest conversation about whether they will be able to attend is essential. You are absolutely not allowed to get mad at someone–even if it’s your mom!–if they cannot afford to attend your wedding. If it will ruin your day to not have them there, pay for them to come.

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Karen Eiffel April 26, 2013 at 5:15 pm

I am pro-destination wedding. It’s easy to think of your own financial difficulties but the bride and groom may be thinking of other people’s financial difficulties and desire to attend the wedding as well. My relatives live in Nevada/Arizona, basically the American Southwest, and his relatives live in Oregon/Idaho/Montana, basically the American Northwest, with comparable means. We plan to have our wedding in San Francisco, that is a destination wedding, but we are reaching a compromise by having it somewhere that has both personal significance for us and unfairly favors neither one side nor the other.

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