Thanking funeral attendees

Q: When someone attends a wake or memorial service, is it necessary to send flowers or bring a mass card? If someone attends and does not bring anything but signs the book saying they were there, should you send them a thank you note the same as if they had sent flowers or a mass card? There seems to be a disagreement in my family and we would like to know the correct procedure.

A: No. Someone who pays his/her respects to the family at a wake is not required to send flowers to take a mass card. You may, but are not required to, send a thank you note for the person’s kindness in being there. Presuming the person greeted the family and the family said thank you for coming at the time, an additional note is not necessary.

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