Pucker Up: Greeting family and friends

by epi on March 15, 2013

Q: When greeting female friends and family, my husband kisses them on the lips (even though I have asked him many times not to do so). I think it’s disgusting and rude and also spreads germs. I have even heard him say, “Hi, give me a kiss.” to friends and family that do not kiss him right away. He puckers up and smacks them right on the lips.

A: No, it is not appropriate for your husband to say “give me a kiss” or to kiss family and friends on the lips. In fact, some people, even if they are family and friends, do not care for such intimacy. If it’s customary among your family and friends to kiss when greeting each other, a simple peck on the cheek is appropriate.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Mariette's Back to Basics March 15, 2013 at 2:47 pm

Agree with your Answer here. I too would feel rather uncomfortable if anyone would do that. Even a hug, without a simple peck on the cheek is far better!
Happy weekend to all of you!


Rebecca March 15, 2013 at 9:16 pm

I kiss my father, uncles, grandparents etc. just like I did when I was a kid. It doesn’t seem weird, I adore these people.


Brockwest March 16, 2013 at 6:16 am

Kissing a family member in those families who feel comfortable with kissing, is fine.
Kissing female friends is not. He is married to you. Just because he has gotten away with kissing your female friends does not mean that all of them are comfortable with his actions. Most people who are uncomfortable with the kiss probably don’t want to cause a problem so keep quiet about it.
The biggest problem in this situation is that you have expressed Your uncomfort with this, and he is not respecting you.


Vanna Keiler March 16, 2013 at 6:52 pm

My, what a predicament! This husband has gotten away with this behavior due to the “shock value” of demanding a kiss when he meets the female friend/family and catching everyone off-guard. I bet there is an ever-increasing list of resentful/annoyed/disgusted/sympathetic/offended/gossiping friends and family growing. There may be several solutions to this problem if I may suggest: Intense marriage counselling. Staging a mock-kiss with a male counterpart to demonstrate how ridiculous his behavior is. Group intervention? What it ultimately boils down to, however, is that the spouse feels it is inappropriate and is highly uncomfortable with it, and wants the behavior to stop—so it should.


Wesley March 20, 2013 at 6:24 pm

Interesting comments. I am a divorced male and am always pleasantly surprised how many females both married and unmarried inside the family and out initiate a kiss on the lips when we greet each other. I am not complaining but thought I should present the other side of the story.


Sunny March 31, 2013 at 8:20 pm

Your husband needs to learn about appropriate boundaries. This is not just about manners. He may not have had appropriate examples in his family of origin.


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