1. Kate


    A baby shower is being hosted in my honor in a few weeks and, having registered on several websites, we have already received a number of gifts from people who plan to attend the shower. The rub is that the gifts arrived unwrapped, over the span of the past three months, and have already been put away.

    I would like for guests to be able to see what they gave me without seeming showy and some other guests will bring wrapped gifts that I should unwrap while at the shower (and I don’t want to have people feel uncomfortable when I am unwrapping gifts — “Did you receive my gift from amazon.com??”).

    One idea was to set out all the gifts and tape thank you notes to the gifts identifying the gift giver (so they can see their gift and receive their thank you note). Would this be considered tacky?

    What would Emily Post do?

    Thank you,


    • Winifred Rosenburg

      For starters you should send thank you notes right way. You do not need to wait until after the shower to do so. Your idea of bringing the already received gifts to the shower might be perceived at best as odd and at worst as showing off. The people who mailed you gifts will certainly not expect their gifts to be there and will also likely consider the whole thing strange. What you can do is take the opportunity tho thank them in person (to supplement your thank you note). If they give you cards you can open the cards during the unwrapping gifts portion of the night and say “Sue also sent me an adorable mobile! Thank you Sue!” Alternatively, you can cut the entire unwrapping gifts part of the shower as you are not required to open gifts in front of your guests.

      • Joanna

        Despite my seeing that your intentions are clearly kind, I can see how others might perceive the gift display as showing off — or, even worse, that it might possibly embarrass someone, who might have wanted to give you a gift but couldn’t afford much. In having their item next to the other things with a public display of who gave what, they might be a bit embarrassed.

  2. Jody

    I see no problem with displaying the gifts. What I do think isn’t proper is to tape a thank-you note to the gift for the giver to take. Thank-you notes, in my opinion, should be either mailed or hand-delivered to the giver.

    • Kate

      Thank you, Winifred and Jody. Your input is very helpful.

      In case this may be useful to others in the same situation, I will use the advice from Winifred and Jody in the following way: the shower is being thrown by my family at my home so the gifts will already be here. I will have the gifts accessible (in the baby’s room) to show gift-givers if they have interest. I will hand deliver thank you notes to the guests, one-on-one, at the shower and thank them in person (“Do you want to see your gift? It really is adorable!”).

      Unfortunately, the ship has already sailed on sending the thank you note right away – at the time I thought that I should wait until the shower. I’m hopeful this solution will make guests feel appreciated in the same way.

      Thank you again for your input,


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