8 Comments

    • Chocobo

      Unless one is picnicking in a bathing suit at the beach or eating entirely alone at home, yes. Everyone, men included, should be dressed when they come to the table. Even the breakfast table requires a bathrobe or pajamas.

    • Country Girl

      In most instances men and women should be fully dressed when eating with others, but dress typically depends on situation. Grabbing a hot dog on the beach at a picnic table, for example, is a different situation from sitting down for dinner at a restaurant.

  1. Clara

    Hello to all my helpful friends. I work in a public building. Our copy machines are out in the open. The public pays for copies and we use keys to make copies for work-related paperwork. I grabbed a key and went to the black and white copier that I usually use and for some reason it wouldn’t work. So instead of trying another key (Someone was blocking the drawer at the moment and helping a patron–a former employee who retired right before I started here. So I used the key on the color copier and usually I hit “black and white” but hit “print” Before I could change my option. Well! I hear a condescending voice say to me “Clara, that’s the color copier, those copies are more expensive.” It was the retired employee! She apparently made everyone’s life here a living hell when she worked here, but she does not even work here anymore! I almost lost it. The problem is that she lives in the area, so she is a taxpayer. But how did she even know what I was copying? Maybe I wanted it in color. Anyway, I simply shrugged and said “okay” in a slightly annoyed tone. I am so angry…I almot went up to her and said something but I knew it would probably eventually end up in my losing my job, but I was so angry I didn’t care. How should I handle her in the future?

    • “Thank you for that information.” Continue with what you were doing.

      She’s not your boss, and apparently you have color copy privileges should you choose to use them. And you’re right, you don’t want to say the wrong thing.

  2. Emily

    Some relatively new friends just got engaged. Although I care about them very much, I have not known them very long. I know they have lots of close friends and that funds are a bit tight for them, since one is a primary school teacher and the other is in law school. I would like to offer to help in any way I can with the wedding while at the same time assuring them that I do not expect an invitation – is there any way to do such a thing gracefully? I’ve had no luck finding any other examples of the situation.

    • Cyra

      I know you asked this question awhile ago, so I hope my opinion is still relevant!

      Are you talking about monetarily helping with the wedding, or giving of your time? The former, while very kind, I would say is a bit too forward. They should be hosting the wedding that they (or perhaps their parents) can afford. If you would like to give of your time, then I would wait until you have either been issued an invitation or you are in some sort of conversation where an invitation is informally given (“I’m finally done with my invitations, keep an eye on your mailbox!”). Even though it seems like you have the best of intentions, it would put the bride-to-be in a very awkward spot to have to reply to your offer with a “thanks, but actually, we weren’t planning on inviting you.”

      You can always send a note of congratulations on their engagement (or best wishes? I can never remember…), and if you want to ease the financial strain a bit, include a gift card to a restaurant or some such thing.

  3. Lady Antipode

    Yes, most definitely. While the rule of ‘dressing for dinner’ isn’t normal in most family homes anymore, putting on a shirt of some kind should be a minimum at a table, and a rule I insist on with the male teenagers in my own household (including guests, although I haven’t had to explicitly request this one).

    Slobbing on the couch or snacking when there’s no one else at the table is a bit different, but for a sit-down meal it’s important.

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