16 Comments

  1. YELENA KONDAUROVA

    Hello! How are you?
    I have a question.
    In the American TV series i`ve seen these cards, folded in half with the person`s name. If this person wants to talk to someone, he writes:” I want to talk to you” or some another thing and send that person a card through a waiter. I would like to know the name of this card and whether the same card in everyday American life.
    And what is the correspondence card? This is the same card, which i wrote earlier? Please. Thank you. Yelena, Russia, Moscow. (It was translated with Google Translator)

    • Winifred Rosenburg

      These cards you describe are known as “informals.” They are meant for informal invitations and short messages, like the one you describe.

    • Chocobo

      Dear Yelena,

      Winifred is right. The folded cards with a person’s name on the front, are called “informals” and are used to write brief notes (such as thank you notes) or extend informal invitations. The correspondence card is a card made of thicker cardstock and is not folded. It is a flat card about the size of a post card with the person’s name or monogram printed at the top of the card. Correspondence cards are used for a variety of reasons, any occassion where you would want to write a short note. They are slightly more formal than the folded “informals”, but less formal than a letter.

  2. Karen

    I have a neighbor that my son mowed their lawn last year. We were never really close, but she sold us our house, her daughter and mine perform with the same ballet company, and her daughter is in the same grade as my son. We are cordial but not necessarily friends. Last year, she had my son mow her lawn. He’s had several lawns and one person has been using him for years. He takes great pride in his work and my husband and I also double check it. She became very weird with the whole situation, and I never understood why. She wanted more from him but wanted it super cheap. He would spend hours in the hot MS sun working on it, then when we’d bill her it would take a while to receive payment. I even texted her once and she didn’t respond. Recently another neighbor has started mowing her lawn. I was tempted to send a text and say “Hey, glad to see “john” is mowing your lawn, I think it will be a much better match for you!” Then I thought, maybe I should just let bygones be bygones. I’m afraid it will just eat at me though. What would you do?

    • Alicia

      Snide comments are momentary satisfaction but never lead to anything good long term. Your son did not like her as a client she did not like him as a lawn mower that is ok . Move on and move beyond it back to occasional neighborly interactions. Skip the snide comment or text.

  3. Vanna Keiler

    It seems the neighbor may have attempted to take advantage of your son’s mowing business, and was a poor client overall. Although there was not, and probably will not be any blossoming friendship between you two, I would agree with Alicia and say “move on”. This type of personality may thrive on chaos and conflict: if you want to stay far away from that type of interaction, I would avoid any further contact if you feel some provocative comment may slip out. :)

  4. Peggy ORourke

    One question please. My Mother and Father had 3 children, one boy and two girls. My Mother passed many years ago and our Father remarried a few years later. My Father died three years ago. Mt stepmother (I was 40 when my Father remarried) has my Mothers china and silver. I would like to ask for my Mothers Silver place settings. Is this correct protocol? Thank You. Peggy

    • Because it has been three years since her husband/your father died, I don’t see a problem with a very nicely worded letter requesting a few of Mother’s things so that you can pass them on to your children. Please don’t clean the woman’s house out, though – she still has to live there, and those items are technically her’s! Alternately, if she is unable to let go right now (perhaps she owns no other silver), discuss making arrangements for those heirloom items to return to you at some point in the future (and get it in writing).

  5. confused guest

    I have a question, and need advice! We were recently invited to a destination wedding. We were not given a lot of notice, and can’t afford to go, but is is a sibling, so we have to be there. We also found out that nothing is included, no reception, no meal, no accommodations have even been provided or suggested. We were basically told to show up and attend a 15 minute ceremony, then we are left to our own devices. My question is, do we still have to give a gift? It is going to cost us over $1000 to attend in the first place and given 2.5 months notice. Thanks!

    • Alicia

      Yes you should give a gift if invited to a wedding of someone close. It does not have to be expensive a framed photo or some meaningful memento would be lovely.
      no you are never required to attend a wedding if invited. If you can not afford it RSVP No. That is acceptable even for a siblings wedding. This is one of the negatives of a destination wedding is not everyone can afford to attend. Do not go into debt for anyone’s wedding. Another option would be for the sibling to attend but not the spouse.
      The lack of hospitality being extended to you makes no difference in the answer. No matter if the most lavish hospitality or none at all the answer stays the same.

  6. Parishioner

    Our large church has ‘small group evangelization communities’ that meet regulary in people’s homes. Some are English language evangelization communities (of which I belong to one), and some are Spanish language ones. The pastor recently invited members of both language communities to meet together with him at church to discuss future evangelization strategies. During the meeting the pastor spoke in Spanish most of the time. This meant I could not understand what he said. I had hoped he would repeat what he said in English for the sake of the English evangelization members invited, but most of the time he did not. As a result, I am perplexed. My pastor wants both language evangelization groups present, but speaks most of the time in only one language, rather than in both so that both groups will understand what he’s saying, not to mention feel welcomed by him. Instead, I felt excluded and unwelcomed. And sad. Quite sad that this exclusion was at the hands of my own pastor. I’m unsure how to address this, as there will be more meetings.

    • Elizabeth

      Why don’t you take up your concerns with him directly? Even better – why not do so in the moment? You could have politely and easily said: “Excuse me Pastor, but a number of us do not speak Spanish. Would you mind repeating yourself in both languages so that we know what’s going on?”

  7. Mary

    My future sister-n-law was discussing her upcoming wedding & while talking about announcement pictures my father-n-law made a comment about the couple taking the picture together & she said only the bride takes the picture for the paper,that it was improper. I am very aware of what is proper & what is not coming from an old family, but I was kind of insulted by her statement because my husband and I took our picture together for the newspaper & she once again said that was improper. Am I wrong or is it acceptable to do this?

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