Open Thread

by epi on March 8, 2013

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Bachelorette Party Gift March 8, 2013 at 12:55 am

This is the first time I have been invited to a bachelorette party. It will take place at a rooftop bar and is for a girlfriend of mine who I do not know very well. What would be an appropriate gift? (I will not be attending the wedding.)

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Winifred Rosenburg March 8, 2013 at 12:13 pm

Gifts aren’t required for bachelorette parties. If you would like to give one anyway, I suggest something small and fun.

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Alicia March 9, 2013 at 1:58 pm

My mother in law recently passed away. She left a beautiful diamond ring to me. I cannot wear this ring alongside my wedding ring because of the width of my wedding band. Is it inappropriate to wear the ring she left to me in place of my wedding ring?

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Karen March 10, 2013 at 1:09 pm

Why not wear it on your other hand?

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Elizabeth March 10, 2013 at 5:31 pm

This was my thought as well. To wear the ring on your left hand would signify that it was an engagement ring. If anyone asked, you could certainly correct them, but then it does, as you say, preclude you from wearing your actual wedding band. Jewelry stores have been selling “right-hand rings” for quite a while – diamond rings (or other types) that are worn on the right hand that are lovely pieces but do not signify the marital status of the wearer.

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Alicia March 10, 2013 at 8:23 pm

Thanks for your answers! I’m not much of a jewelry person. Earrings and my wedding band is about it for me. That’s why I was wondering if it would be in poor taste to wear the ring on my left hand.

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Melanie Maguire March 10, 2013 at 7:15 pm

Is there any problem with a guest wearing the same color dress as the bridesmaid?
I purchased a bright pink dress at the same time my niece finalized her bridesmaid dress choice. Neither one of us knew about our decision. Great minds think alike I guess.

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Alicia March 10, 2013 at 7:23 pm

No problem. Really most guests would not know until attending the wedding what colors the bridesmaids wear so no colors off limits except white and in some more traditional families black.

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Ms. Torrey March 11, 2013 at 4:48 pm

Our dearest friends have a lack of manners. They have a very bad habit of always picking their teeth at the dinner table either at restaurants or even our home dinner table. The wife will use her finger to dig and then proceed to wipe it on her open napkin for all to see. The husband will use his finger, toothpick or even a straw. My husband and I can hardly finish our dinner – it is very gross. These people are kind and loving people and we don’t want to hurt their feeling or make them feel we are being overly critical but we are to the point we don’t even want to eat with them. What do we do? Please HELP!

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Elizabeth March 11, 2013 at 5:11 pm

Eww, that is gross. I don’t blame you for your reaction. Unfortunately there is no way to correct the manners of others. I mean, you could very subtly hint…When one of them starts digging, you could pull some floss out of your purse and say brightly, “Oh, would you like to to take some floss to the bathroom? I’ve started carrying it around with me for when I get some food stuck…” Unfortunately, some restaurants encourage this behavior by providing toothpicks, so it’s difficult to combat. A toothpick might be kind of discrete, but a straw or finger is very noticeable.

Other than that, perhaps you could try to sit a tables rather than booths (so they’re not necessarily in your line of sight)? Or just excuse yourself to the bathroom when they start doing it?

All things considered, this may just be the price of being friends with otherwise kind and lovely people.

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Ms. Torrey March 13, 2013 at 12:21 pm

Elizabeth,
Thank you for your reply. Yes, it is gross and sadly its becoming a very big non ending problem for us. They really are good people and we don’t want to hurt their feelings . I’m afraid if I offer them floss for the bathroom they would just sit at the table flossing instead of going to the privacy of the restroom – which would be worse.

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