13 Comments

  1. kelly stoneburgh

    I have two nieces that are engaged. The first one has set her date for Sept. 14, 2013 and now the second one wants to set her date for October 18, 2013. Two different cities and everyone has to travel. Is there some kind of etiquette that states that there should be a certain amount of time in between the two weddings in the same family?

  2. Margo

    Hi, my son is getting married and they are having it at a cottage resort for the whole weekend. They are paying to have the whole resort but would like to have the guests pay for their stay in the cottage for the weekend. Does any one know how this can be worded on the invitation? Should it e a separate card? Please help. I know people who are invited to a destination wedding are expected to pay for their flight, hotel etc. This place is about a 3 hour drive from where most guests will be coming from. A bbq will be provided on Fri. night, Sat. is the wedding and breakfast will be an informal thing, then in the evening will be the reception and sit down dinner. Alcohol will also be served along with wine at dinner, all free. How do we word all of this so as not to offend anyone by asking that they pay for their weekend stay? Thanks for any help.

    • Katie K

      Hello Margo, It doesn’t go on the invitation, but I believe the wording you are looking for is something like, “special rates at cottage resort have been arranged for our guests”.

    • Elizabeth

      People will expect to pay for their own lodging. On a separate insert, you can detail the schedule of the weekend (including the meal events you have planned – but no need to mention the alcohol). You can also provide contact information for the resort and indicate that you’ve gotten a special rate, so much per night. Has your son actually paid for all the rooms and wants to get reimbursed? Or has he just reserved it all? In any case, the guests need to be able to pay for the room through the resort itself and not the bride/groom.

      • Margo

        Thanks for the great info, I will pass it on. My son will be paying for the resort up front so needed to figure out how to organize that. I spoke to him today and some one at his work told him what you have just said. Thanks again and have a great day.

  3. Kirstyn

    A friend, or rather, a work colleague, began soliciting contributions for her wedding some time back.I immediately consented to put in a generous amount(we were on healthy terms).Incidents have since occurred which have changed my perception of her-unflatteringly.She, on the other hand,is generally not open -to the point where I personally feel it becomes hypocritical.Admittedly, I paid part of what I pledged before her wedding but ever since I felt differently towards her(way before her wedding) I did not wish to pay the balance as I had originally intended.It’s now months past and I wonder- should I have said something? I mean I never did say whether or not I would pay the rest.She never said anything.I suspect she knew where things stood.And that was that.
    Am I still bound to her or should I say something to justify my change of heart?

    note:There is an unspoken enemity between us.I know it because I at least try to be true to myself.

    • Elizabeth

      First of all, it is highly improper to solicit donations to one’s wedding in the first place. A couple should have the wedding that they can afford. I have no idea why you agreed to “donate” in the first place – not even to a friend, but a coworker. (Is this typical in your region??) It’s not your responsibility to fund someone else’s wedding.

      However, that being said, you DID promise to give her some money. Your new opinion of her notwithstanding, are you a person who keeps your promises or not? Unless she harmed you directly in some way, the fact that she’s a card cheat, steals office supplies, or runs around on her husband has nothing to do with the promise YOU made. Personally, I would fulfill my promise because it’s important to me to behave with integrity.

  4. Stu

    I earned a Master of Public Health from one school. I subsequently earned a Doctor of Public Health from another school many years later. Both are “terminal” or professional degrees. Do I include both MPH and DrPH after my name in the signature block at the bottom of professional correspondence, on business cards, and in business e-mail signatures, or just the DrPH? Or neither, to avoid looking pompous? Thank you for your time and attention.

  5. Christine

    What is the best thing to say when a friend or acquaintance constantly puts themselves down? For example, everytime a friend sends a picture she says something like “ignore my awful hair” or “don’t mention how fat I look,” when she in fact looks quite lovely. I can only say “Oh stop, you look great” so many times. Is there something else I should be saying?

    • Elizabeth

      You could take the passive route and simply stop responding to such comments. Or, if she’s a good friend, you could level with her in a quiet moment: “Friend, I want to bring up something with you that’s kind of awkward. Many times, when you send me photos or whatever, you tend to send along a disparaging comment about yourself. This puts me in a tough spot. First, I don’t agree with you – I always think you look lovely. Second, I’m not sure if YOU believe these comments. Are you trying to be modest? Or do you really feel that way about yourself? I’m not sure whether to try and bolster you up or what. I wish you would just stop being so negative about yourself. That’s my friend you’re talking about!”

    • Chocobo

      If the comments are truly pervasive, I would kindly draw her attention to it as a friend. Such as, “Sally, are you alright? You always look so lovely and yet get so down on yourself. I’m concerned.”

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