Open Thread

by epi on February 7, 2013

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

JD February 7, 2013 at 8:48 am

What is the etiquette regarding office elevators? Is it bad manners to run and stick your hand or leg in the elevator as the doors are closing and delay the people already in the elevator? My friend and I disagree on whether that is bad manners. I never do that – I always wait for the next one while he has no qualms about doing that. Thank you.


Chocobo February 7, 2013 at 11:49 am

What should have happened is that the people in the elevator should hold the door for those who are approaching, not the other way around. In a perfect world, running to stick your hand or leg in the elevator should not need to happen, since polite people would not be letting the doors close on purpose. That they do — or mistakes happen — does not make a person trying to get into the elevator rude for having to force the issue.


Jody February 7, 2013 at 2:35 pm

I’d say it depends on the circumstances. If you’re at the end of a group getting on and the doors start to close it’s definitely OK to hold the door open. If you have to run to the elevator in order to stick your hand in & open the door, I say wait for the next one.

I have two elevator peeves — one is with people who saunter up without saying “please hold on” or something like that and then get irritated when we in the elevator don’t hold it. I always say “you didn’t say you were coming.” The elevator lobby is also used to go from one side of my floor to another, so just because somebody is walking through doesn’t mean they want the elevator.

My other peeve is with people who hold the elevator door open so they can talk to their friends who aren’t getting on the elevator. That’s what I call rude behavior.


Country Girl February 8, 2013 at 6:47 am

I would throw out my pet peeve of trying to cram oneself into a clearly “at capacity” elevator thus forcing everyone already inside to uncomfortably squish together. (Oddly enough these are typically the same ones running from the opposite end of the lobby and jamming their leg into the door instead of waiting for the next empty elevator.)


Rev. Svend la Rose February 7, 2013 at 8:52 am

Scenario: I agree to go to the meeting of a group with whose members I disagree in exchange for a date with a highly attractive woman. At the meeting, I am verbally abused and insulted. When I raise a point of order, I am threatened with expulsion, and thus the loss of the date. After the meeting, she walks over to the restaurant with a bunch of her friends, while an ordinary member of the group walks up to me and spells out “rules” including no kissing, no flirtatious talk, and no discussing our moral or political views. I try to tell him that he doesn’t make the rules, but he walks away. Then I get to the restaurant, and she’s at the right hand of that guy, with the only open seat all the way across the long table from her.

1. At what point in this should I have left?
2. What should I have done to or about that guy?
3. If I ever see that guy again, what should I do to him?

P.S. This did not happen in real life. It was a nightmare that I’ve been having.


Alicia February 7, 2013 at 2:20 pm

Interesting nightmare. If this ever happens in real life you should decline the date with any woman who will only go on a first date with you if you are first willing to go to the meeting of a group you disagree with. Instead find a lovely woman who you have more in common with and ask her out.


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