5 Comments

  1. Stephanie

    My husband and I do not have any family who live close, therefore they all must travel to attend birthday parties and family functions. My husband and I decided to rotate who says with us and who stays in a hotel since we only have one spare room to host guests. My mother claims this is incorrect and rude. What is proper etiquette in who stays with us and who stays in a hotel?

    If this is submitted incorrectly, I apologize. The FAQ page said to leave my question as a comment.

    • Elizabeth

      Your solution sounds fair, because it distributes the burden of paying for a hotel room rather on more rather than fewer people. However, if one part of the family has significantly more financial hardship than all the others, it may be difficult for some to spring for the hotel room, and it would not be wrong to give them additional consideration. However, if it is simply a matter of convenience or preference, then it seems perfect.

      In any case: it is never incorrect or rude for you to invite whoever you like to stay as a guest in your home, and it is not incorrect or rude of you to suggest hotel rooms to those you cannot accommodate. I think it’s rude for others to comment on your hospitality! Perhaps it would be best not to “advertise” your system, and simply issue invitations as you please. To others, you can simply not offer the room and they will understand that other accommodations need to be made.

    • Elizabeth

      It depends …
      I have a wood table which is very sensitive – any moisture, or even any heat from a dish will discolor it, so for me, a placemat is necessary. If I want to use a tablecloth, I have to put a plastic one underneath the fabric cloth because the table will discolor if any moisture soaks through the cloth.

      If I had a wood table that was resistant to moisture and heat (like a formica table that just looked like wood), I would only use placemats or table cloths if the meal was a bit more formal. Just for lunch or a regular weeknight dinner, I don’t know that I would necessarily use them. We also have an island in our kitchen where my husband and I will eat dinner if its just us. We never use placemats there.

      Not sure if this is an etiquette issue, or just an issue of practicality… table cloths and placemats sure do make the table look more put together….

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