Save the Date: Planning around a friend’s wedding

Q: One of my best friends set her wedding date for September 8. How much time should there be between our weddings? We have the same maid of honor and will be in the other’s wedding.

A: There’s really no guideline for determining how far apart friends’ weddings should be, but we’d say if you became engaged after her, it would be best for you to schedule your wedding after hers (and vice versa if she became engaged first) — more out of courtesy than obligation. The two of you can discuss what’s reasonable in terms of time between the events, so the two weddings don’t become a burden to attendants or guests who may be invited to both (especially if travel expenses, hotel accommodations, etc. are involved).


  1. Country Girl

    In this case I’d also add a conversation with your Maid of Honor. Taking on the role of MOH for even just one wedding is a relatively large commitment of time and money, so being scheduled for 2 weddings too close one another may be more than she can handle.

    • Alicia

      Sounds like the two brides and the maid of honor are all close friends. The three of you need to get together and talk calendar. It seems not uncommon for couples to figure out say 5 days that work for them in terms of church calendar locations ect and then send those 5 days to the people worth rethinking the dates for ie parents maybe siblings to double check that they do not have any conflicts where they will be unable to attend on those dates.
      All of this should be worked out with some mutual consideration more then firm rules.

  2. Winifred Rosenburg

    I don’t think the second one to be engaged has to necessarily plan her wedding after her friend’s to be courteous. My best friend was engaged before me, but because she had a long engagement my wedding ended up being before hers. She didn’t mind as I clearly was not trying to beat her. We just each picked a day that made sense for our individual circumstances.

    I agree with what others have said that the diplomatic thing to do would be to talk to people who will be involved in both weddings and figure out a reasonable amount of time to have between the two that won’t place a heavy burden on anyone.

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