8 Comments

    • Ruth Peltier

      I would say it like you just did. We are taking Mom and Dad out for an anniversary brunch. If you would like to join us, the usual cost at (name of restaurant) is about (x dollars)

  1. clf

    It is really not in good taste to ask people to pay to come to a party. If you are asking people to pay because you can’t afford it, scale back your idea of a celebration. For the price of four people going out for brunch you could entertain at home with pastries and coffee.

    • Elizabeth

      I tend to agree with you. How much can brunch cost?? I would consider hosting (paying for) the party as a gift to your parents, rather than having everyone deal with the awkwardness of splitting up the bill at the end. If the place is too expensive, choose a less expensive place that you can afford or have it at home.

      • Chris

        I did have a whole event planned. Unfortunately, like many others I lost my job. My husband kept telling me to keep the plans but I knew it just wasn’t going to work and have been beating myself up over it. So we thought of taking them to brunch then having cake and coffee at our home. I thought if I worded it something like this: “Mom & Dad” will be celerating 40 years of marriage
        We will be having bruch at XYZ Restaurant.
        With a side note saying
        We hope you can join us
        Adult: $29.95
        Child:$11.95
        Brunch includes champagne, coffee, ice tea and assorted juices
        Seperate checks will be provided

        I know asking someone to pay for themselves is well, rude or tacky, both. Thats why I didn’t want it to sound like an invitation but more like, this is what we are doing and if you would like to join us.

        • Alicia

          So you are hosting all these folks for coffee and cake after brunch? If so I would skip brunch. First you do not need to throw this party your parents anniversary is lovely but not something you need to throw a party for. Second if everyone is going to be coming to your place after brunch for cake and coffee then that breaks up the event. Why not scale it back to an at the house event entirely. For $138 ( the cost of four adult brunches +tip) you could put out a lovely selection of bagels, donuts, fruit , pastry, quiche, mimosas, coffee, tea, cake for 25 people. This make the event a one location thing that is easier on guests and you. Everyone will think it is lovely particularly if you find some pictures of their wedding and make copies and put them around the house as decor.

        • Elizabeth

          Alicia makes a good suggestion. And after you eat the big brunch – will anybody even have room for cake and coffee at your place? Seems like too much. (This is obviously not a suggestion that comes out of any etiquette rules, just an observation from someone that does a fair amount of entertaining.) One or the other will suffice. After the brunch, if it seems like people want to keep socializing, you can certainly make an informal invitation to come back to your place.

          But if you’re not up for having the party at home, the way you worded the invitation is at least very clear and unambiguous. If people want to join you, they will, and if it sounds too expensive they’ll decline. You are well within the bounds of polite behavior to send this invitation.

          • Clara

            While I empathize with the fact that funds are short, it is tough to invite people to something and ask them to pay for themselves. It would be better to follow some of the other suggestions and keep it to a lovely bagel brunch at your home. Bagels are very filling and usually you end up with more than you even need for not that much money. You and your husband alone are going to have to spend over sixty bucks at the restaurant…put it toward the bagel brunch and knowing that no one was put off by your invitation! Good luck!

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