Open Thread

by epi on January 10, 2013

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Marilyn January 10, 2013 at 10:06 am

Is it appropriate to wear black to a wedding?

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Elizabeth January 10, 2013 at 10:19 am

It depends. Black is traditionally considered a bad color to wear to a wedding because of its association with funerals and death. However, in some regions of the country, it is becoming a popular and accepted choice for evening weddings. Some brides even put their bridesmaids in black. In the south, I hear it is still considered a no-no. However, if you are going to an evening wedding in a city or metropolitan area with a cocktail hour and dancing, a LBD will fit right in.

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Chocobo January 10, 2013 at 11:41 am

For men: Yes. A black or dark suit is appropriate (however, a long black tie with a suit not appropriate, as it signifies mourning. The tie should be of some other color). At formal (black tie) evening weddings, a black or midnight blue tuxedo with a black bow tie is expected. At very formal evening (white tie) weddings, a black tailcoat with a white bow tie and waistcoat is expected.

For women: No. Black is the color of mourning, and it is best for us to separate the clothes that we can wear to a funeral and a wedding. Visually, seeing a sea of black and grey at a wedding feels inappropriately drab for the (one hopes) happy occasion. Please choose another color (except for white, and in some circles, red).

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Alicia January 10, 2013 at 11:45 am

Black is ok for evening weddings in most areas and most families. In more conservative areas and traditional familes it can cause offense. As such just avoid it and wear something more colorful

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Winifred Rosenburg January 10, 2013 at 2:33 pm

I agree with Chocobo. I live in New York City, generally considered to be a liberal city, and I am disappointed whenever I see a black dress at a wedding. Black is a mourning color and no matter how popular little black dresses get it always will be. Please avoid black and white. You still have plenty of other colors to choose from; it shouldn’t be difficult.

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Just Laura January 10, 2013 at 9:03 pm

I agree with this 100%. If funds are an issue, many thrift shops sell barely used (and sometimes new!) dresses for less than $10.

YELENA January 10, 2013 at 12:04 pm

Hello. If you are a guest, yes.

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clf January 10, 2013 at 10:58 am

I think it depends on how you’re wearing black. Anything that would pass as acceptable for a funeral is definately out for a wedding. A black dress with black stockings and shoes suggests you are “mourning” the wedding.

On the other hand, a LBD accessorized with lots of sparkle or color (shoes,scarf, jewelry,handbag) that has an overall look of party or celebration should be fine. If you can’t tell the difference or are unsure, then avoid black for weddings.

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Brockwest January 11, 2013 at 6:21 pm

On the basis that a number of people from the Bride to a guest might be offended, I think it wise for women to avoid black (or white) at a wedding. There are simply too many other choices.

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