Open Thread

by epi on December 25, 2012

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

DSK3213 December 25, 2012 at 1:24 pm

My daughter became engaged last night and she and her fiance want to set a wedding date. Her first cousin became engaged last summer and set a wedding date for Fall 2013. My daughter and her fiance are considering June 2013. Would it be improper for their wedding date to be earlier than my nephew’s?

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Country Girl December 26, 2012 at 3:58 am

There are really 2 parts to the answer of this question. Answer) No it is in no way improper. Your daughter and her fiance’s wedding is a completely separate, non-competing event from that of her cousin. Unless the dates were to be the exact same day (which could cause problems for family attempting to attend) your daughter and her fiance should feel free to choose a date works best for them. Part 2) You and daughter should at least be prepared that cousin may not not agree with the generally accepted etiquette. This blog is proof plenty that family members can invent all kinds of perceptions of what they feel they are “owed” in terms of choosing their date first, having their wedding first, or having the weddings farther apart from each other, etc. If approached about it, you both should be prepared to kindly explain that the date is simply what works best for them in terms of venue/timing/families/work and is not intended as a slight to cousin.

Congratulations to you and your family! =)

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Brockwest December 26, 2012 at 10:30 am

Congratulations on your up-coming wedding. You are allowed to set your wedding on a date that precedes the date of the cousins.
It is unfortunately common for some brides-to-be to feel they have a lock on the entire bridal year for some reason. I would not change your plans, nor would I react to protestations from the other bride-to-be, as it would only escalate into a feud.

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Alicia December 26, 2012 at 10:56 am

As long as one does not pick the same exact weekend as a family member any date is ok. For a friend I would say same day but for family give her the whole weekend.

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