Party Planning: Organizing a bachelorette party from a distance

by epi on October 31, 2012

Q: I need to host a bachelorette party as one my maid of honor duties. However, the bride and the wedding are in Montana and I live in Alaska. I will be doing all my planning from Alaska and have limited resources in Montana. I have made reservations at a restaurant that specializes in wine. The guest list will be around 20 people. Guests would be able to order from the menu or I can pre-order wine and cheese, etc. which would run about 20 dollars per person. I am not able to front a +$400 dollar bill and the wedding party (including myself) has already organized and paid for a trip to Las Vegas for the bridal party. My question is . . . is there a polite way to invite guests so they are aware that dinner and drinks will not be provided? Or is the whole idea rude? I don’t have a location to host the party myself or the time to prepare food, etc. I will be arriving 4 hours before the party.

A: It is traditional for guests at a bachelorette party, with the exception of the bride, to pay their own refreshments.  Therefore, it would be fine include the price on the invitations.   For example, the invitation might read:  A bachelorette party for Ann will be held at Restaurant X on May 6 at 7:00 p.m.  It will be about $20 per person.  Hope you can come.  RSVP xxx-xxx-xxxx.  It should be noted, however, that the bridal party is not obligated to host a bachelorette party.  It’s their choice.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Raye February 13, 2013 at 11:04 pm

I RSVP’d a wedding 2 months ago. Now my husband has a business trip. What should I tell the bride? I still want to go, but don’t know if I can bring a friend.


Alicia February 14, 2013 at 6:52 am

No you can not bring a friend as you were not invited with a friend your husband was invited. You must contact the bride right away and with your profound apologizing let her know that you must change your husbands RSVP from a Yes to a No but that you will still be happily attending and are looking forward to it.


Winifred Rosenburg February 14, 2013 at 12:30 pm

I agree with Alicia. I would also add that it is likely the bride and groom have already paid the caterer so you should offer to pay for your husband’s plate.


Jody February 14, 2013 at 2:25 pm

I agree with Winifred — offer to pay for your husband’s plate. It’s then up to the bride and groom to decline that offer, or to ask you if you want to bring somebody else in your husband’s place.


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