9 Comments

  1. Friends,
    Out of the blue, I received a message from a person with whom I have very little contact (running into each other at the grocery store 2x each year is about it). The person asked if I were having a Halloween party at my house. I replied that we weren’t this year, but “why do you ask?” knowing full well this person was angling for an invite. Person responded that she had friends visiting from out of town, and wanted to bring them to a local party (note – I haven’t invited this person to any gatherings in my home for over a year). How interesting when one invites oneself and one’s friends to others’ parties…
    This is the same person who texted my husband to wonder why she wasn’t invited to our wedding, then when he gave her the location info, she didn’t come.
    I’m more irritated than anything, but I suppose I should respond [kindly] to the message. Anyone have a suggestion?

    • Chocobo

      I agree, your initial response was very good. You could reply to this message with something like, “Sounds like fun! Good luck.” Hopefully that will close the discussion. Even if you were having a party, you could always reply “Oh, I’m so sorry, but we’ve already made all the plans, but thanks for thinking of me.”

  2. Jody

    Just Laura — I think your initial response was perfect. As for any followup, I don’t think more is required. If you want to respond, however, you could say something noncommittal like “that sounds like a fun idea.” Hopefully this other person won’t press you for ideas, but if she does you can always refer her to local restaurants and bars. Many places in my area have special Halloween events; giving her names of those business would let her know where events are going on and let you out of the “fishing for an invite” situation.

  3. Betsy Brown

    I invited some family members over for dinner and told them ahead of time what I was making. They accepted, but showed up for dinner with their own meal because they didn’t like what I had prepared. Did I have cause to be upset? What can I do next time to avoid this?

    • wow.
      I actually don’t know what you can do about this. You informed them of the meal; at that time, they could have let you know about likes/dislikes/food allergies, or simply declined to attend. They did not, yet insulted your hospitality by bringing their own food because yours wasn’t to their liking.

      If I enjoyed the company of these people, I would meet them at restaurants in the future.

    • Chocobo

      I concur… wow. Certainly you have cause to be upset. That is a terrible insult to your hospitality. If you still wish to have them in your home at all, you could refrain from discussing the menu ahead of time. Or as Just Laura says, meet them at a restaurant instead.

  4. Siobhan

    I’d be inclined to invite them back, serve them each an empty plate, put on my best surprised face and say ‘What – you didn’t bring anything to eat?’ ;-)

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