Missions of a Maid of Honor: What are your responsibilities?

by epi on October 10, 2012

Q: A dear friend has asked me to be her maid of honor. I am thrilled and have accepted. I want to make sure that I do a great job and help make her big day and memorable as possible. What are the responsibilities of a maid of honor?

A: A maid/matron of honor may help the bride in as many ways as she can. This may include taking responsibility for dress fittings, attending as many prenuptial events as possible, possibly co-hosting a party or shower (not mandatory), assisting the bride with errands, contributing to the bridesmaids’ gift to the bride, usually giving an individual gift to the couple, arriving at the dressing site promptly, possibly participating in the receiving line, dancing with ushers and single male guests, helping gather guests for the first dance, cake cutting, and bouquet toss, looking after elderly relatives or friends, and paying for her dress and transportation to the wedding city. The bride is responsible for paying for her lodging. She also signs any legal papers as a witness, helps the bride change if she is “going away” from the reception, and can even assist with organizing gifts, addressing invitations, and shopping with the bride. It all depends on your proximity to the bride and the amount of time you have. The most important duty is to be a best friend to be wholly supportive of the bride on the day of the wedding, from the moment she wakes up to the time she leaves for her honeymoon. The second most important duty is to be sure the bridesmaids are where they should be and that they are organized and ready to do their own jobs.

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Winifred Rosenburg October 10, 2012 at 9:34 am

I have issues with a few of the items on that list. For starters, I don’t know about the bride pays for lodgings bit. It certainly doesn’t seem to be widely practiced as I’ve never known any brides to do that. It also seems strange because if MOH were just a guest she would have to pay for her own lodging. I could see it being nice as the bride’s gift to her MOH, but not as a requirement.

I also think a group bridesmaid gift isn’t always a good idea. It can lead to problems when different bridesmaids have different budgets so I think it’s safest to have everyone get their own gift.

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Just Laura October 10, 2012 at 11:14 am

I paid for my Maid-of-Honor’s hotel room and dress. Of course, she was flying in from Hawaii with children, so I really thought it was the least I could do. :) In my experience outside my own wedding, however, I have never known a bride (or groom) to pay for the room of anyone in the bridal party.

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