Q: I have a question regarding wedding etiquette and I’d appreciate some guidance. My son was recently married in a simple civil ceremony at their local courthouse with no family or friends in attendance. He is a soldier recently returned from Iraq with a serious combat injury. Because it looks like he is going to receive a medical discharge and will be on disability for the rest of his life he felt it necessary to marry prior to certain deadlines so his disability payments will be more apt to help support a family versus what he would receive if he were an unmarried soldier at the time of his discharge. The wedding was planned for a later date but the combat injury threw a major kink in those plans. My son and new daughter in law now say they plan to have a ‘real’ wedding with attendants, the dress, reception,etc.on their first anniversary. While I can understand their desire for a more formal ceremony with family and friends this just doesn’t seem like it would be very appropriate a year after the fact . I think I would have a real problem with sending out formal invitations to all our friends and family all over the country a year later. Is there a more proper way to handle this or am I being an old ‘fuddy duddy’?
A: You will want to talk to a minister about the ceremony part of this plan. Some ministers will not “marry” a couple who is already married. If the minister will, however, then most friends and family wouldn’t have too much trouble understanding the situation and your son’s and daughter-in-law’s desire to finally have their wedding. If it is difficult to have a ceremony, then they certainly could have a very belated reception only, forgoing the attendants, wedding gown, etc. You are by no means being an old fuddy duddy! It is a little awkward but again, those who care will understand.
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