Open Thread

by epi on June 18, 2012

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Carol Davis June 18, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Hi..Could you please tell me how to answer this a nice way. In my neighborhood. People I’ve never met before just come up to me and ask where do I live. It’s a constant thing. I feel that it is extremely rude to approach someone that way.
I feel that it is so rude and poor manners, if you have not been engaged in a conversation or if a proper introduction of names has not occurred. It’s never preceded by an exchange or names or conversation. Just..”.Where do you live.?” Men do it too? Being a women..I’ll never tell. The approach can be with a smile, but it’s always the very first question. I don’t think the questions should come in that order. I work with the public and don’t want to be to harsh with people I may see later on publicly. Sometimes I just say within the city. What would be a polite way for me to handle this question and not come off as being rude?

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Elizabeth June 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

You’re describing a very curious and strange phenomenon. You could reply with “Why do you ask?” I can imagine you would really like to know the answer – why do they ask?? Do you think they see you as an outsider to the neighborhood? Is it mostly older people who are just trying to start a conversation? Is it a really close-knit neighborhood, and are they trying to ascertain if you’re new or just visiting?

If the person seems friendly and balanced, you might counter with “You know, a lot of people have been asking me that lately. Why is that??” Or you could just say, “Around here, why?”

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Pam June 18, 2012 at 8:48 pm

I work the public as well, about 25 minutes from town. I don’t get asked as much as you seem to be, but when I am asked I always tell them that I live in the bigger town next to mine. But usually when I am .asked it makes sense within the conversation.

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Lori Cavallaro June 19, 2012 at 6:08 pm

My mother has bought a one shoulder dress to wear to my daughter’s wedding. It does not have a low neckline and goes to her knee. She is rethinking this as inappropriate.
Looking for comments.

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Elizabeth June 19, 2012 at 9:50 pm

I depends a bit on the kind of wedding it is. If this is a morning wedding or weekday afternoon, it sounds like a bit much. But if it’s your Friday or Saturday evening wedding with dinner and dancing, it sounds like a perfectly fine dress to wear. If she is concerned about showing too much skin during the ceremony, she can always wear a wrap or shawl on top.

I was my sister’s only bridesmaid, and she actually tried to get me to wear a dress much like you’re describing. Unfortunately, I cannot pull off such a style. But if it looks good (and it sounds modest enough), why not go for it? My mom wore a strapless to my wedding, and she looked great.

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