Q: I will be a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding, and now another close friend of mine has scheduled her wedding to take place the preceding evening, which is during my first obligation’s rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. I feel that the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are all part of the wedding, and the wedding party is obligated to be a part of that evening. I have told my conflicting friend that I have an obligation to attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. The problem is, the wedding that I would be missing is that of a very close friend, and she wants me to be in the wedding party. I told her that I would come to the reception, after completing my obligations at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. I now have a group of friends that feel that my not coming to the evening wedding is completely inexcusable and that I should ‘simply’ tell the bride that I cannot come to the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, that she would ‘understand’. I feel awful about missing my dear friend’s wedding, but I have a previous obligation that I don’t feel right trying to skate out on. Is there an etiquette outlined for this situation?
A: Yes, as a bridesmaid, you are expected and obligated to attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. It’s unfortunate that your other close friend’s wedding will be held that night, but it would be inexcusable to tell the bride you can’t attend the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner much less expect her to understand. Your friends who have told you that it would be inexcusable to miss your other friend’s wedding are totally out of line. You have made a commitment and should honor it.
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