9 Comments

  1. Pam

    I am in the process of writing thank you notes to friends who sent me cards and flowers after my grandfather passed away. I know they may get thank yous from my aunt as well, who is in possession of the register that they all signed. However, I wanted to write my own personal ones as well. My dilemma is that my boyfriend’s family gave me a plant, in person at his aunt’s home, and signed the card from 4 households. Do I write individual thank yous to each household or should I write it to the aunt who obviously wrote the card and reference their names in the thank you?

    • Chocobo

      Pam, you should write to each household. It may be that the aunt was the one who wrote the card, but you don’t know who purchased the plant. Take them for their word and assume that the plant, as well as the well-wishes, came from all.

  2. Claudia

    My 3.5 year old toddler son and I will attend my little sisters university graduation. What is a child his age supposed to wear?

    • Elizabeth

      Graduates can vary pretty widely in formality and environment. At a very large school, graduation ceremonies can be held outside in a stadium, and at very small schools they can be very formal and intimate. Your child’s dress depends to a large extent on what kind of graduation your sister’s will be, and he should also be dressed to come extent for comfort – adults have a hard enough time not fidgeting through the often long ceremonies, much less a small child. A nice pair of khaki pants and a polo-type shirt might be versatile enough for any type of ceremony. I can’t imagine requiring anything more formal than that, except perhaps a button-down shirt. Luckily, all the focus will be on the grads!

  3. Pam

    I have been with my boyfriend for over 9 years. I am a bridesmaid for his sister. How do you think she should list me in the program? Thanks!

    • Elizabeth

      How would you like her to list you in the program? Some people just list bridesmaids by their name (Ms. Pam Lastname) and some people include a helpful descriptor so other attendees can understand the relationships of the participants. So, you could be listed as Ms. Pam Lastname, Girlfriend of the Bride’s Brother. She might consider that to be too detailed, so it could be shortened to Ms. Pam Lastname, Friend of the Bride.

  4. Pam

    Elizabeth, thank you. She already did a draft of the program and sent it to me and I saw that I was listed as “friend of the bride.” It stung a little because that isn’t the true description of the relationship (we are friendly but I’m her brother’s long term girlfriend, that’s the main thing), but seeing that you listed that as a possibility makes me feel better. She didn’t ask for my input but I wanted to see what other people’s gut reponses were. Thanks so much.

    • Elizabeth

      I understand how you feel. I think the couple most likely just wants to define everybody’s relationship to themselves, and I don’t think they’re trying to minimize your relationship to your boyfriend. If you were married, she would use ‘Sister-In-Law’. However, we unfortunately don’t have economical terms for the partners of siblings when they are not married in our language. ‘Friend of the Bride’ probably seemed more elegant and it sounds like it has the benefit of being true! Try not to let this bother you, as it seems that no offense was meant, and enjoy the wedding!

    • Lilli

      I think friend of the bride is more charming sounding! I would feel more like she’s really asking your to be her attendant out of affection for you – not some duty to her brother. It also is likely to be a more permanent description of your relationship to her for a keepsake such as a wedding program. In the future you may become “brother’s wife” or “brother’s ex-girlfriend” but regardless of your relationship with him she will likely always consider your her friend.

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