Open Thread

by epi on May 21, 2012

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Deb May 21, 2012 at 2:37 am

I recently attended a baby shower. Before the mother-to-be arrived, her close friend and mother-in-law began opening gifts, trashing the pretty wrapping paper and began displaying the opened gifts on a table for the mother to see when she arrived. After she arrived she mingled and talked to the guests and when new guests arrived the friend and mother-in-law would take the new gifts arriving and open them without the mother-to-be knowing they had even arrived. I have never seen this done before and was told this is the way it’s done now. I simply do not agree and think it was in bad taste.


Zakafury May 21, 2012 at 8:42 am

I suppose watching someone open gifts might be considered a bit dull. Asking for unwrapped gifts doesn’t seem like a terrible idea, but the hostesses clearly flubbed this one.

I hope they know who gave what. Thank you note nightmare, since no in-person thanks were possible.


Alicia May 21, 2012 at 8:19 am

I’ve never seen this done before as well and I have been to a baby shower as recently as three weeks ago.


Sydney May 21, 2012 at 10:37 am

We were invited to a Mother’s Day brunch at the Country Club. There were only two forks, one the dinner fork placed beside the plate and the other, the dessert fork placed above the plate. Our hostess used the dessert fork for her salad, we, of course used the same and followed her lead. Would you have done the same, or would you have used the dinner fork and asked for another fork later?


Sydney May 21, 2012 at 10:40 am

I forgot to mention it was a buffet – if that matters…


Chocobo May 22, 2012 at 9:46 am

Either solution works, really. If the forks are laid out incorrectly, the responsibility is the hostess’ (or perhaps the Country Club’s) and not yours and there’s nothing wrong with asking for another fork. Alternatively, your following her lead was also a good solution. Regardless, don’t feel shy to ask if you need it next time.


Alicia May 21, 2012 at 11:18 am

I would have used my dinner fork for both my salad and dinner leaving a clean fork for the dessert. Or depending on how comfortable I was I may have asked for a salad fork.


Virginia May 21, 2012 at 12:21 pm


I am working on writing thank you notes for my engagement party this past weekend. I am not sure how to address the notes for a few families where only part of the family attended (in both cases, the mom and some of the kids came but the dad and the rest of the kids didn’t because the kids had activities they needed to be at). Should I address the notes just to the mom and kids who came, and say that we missed the dad and other kids? In both cases, we did not receive a gift or card, so I’m just thanking them for attending.


Just Laura May 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm

This was already answered where you posted it earlier. Hope it helped!


Virginia May 21, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Last time I looked there I thought it had disappeared so I reposted it when I found todays post. Thanks for letting me know it was still there!


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