from Essential Manners For Men
How To Be A Good Guest: Five tips
- R.S.V.P. Tell your host whether you can attend, and do so immediately.
- Be on time: Do not arrive early or more than fifteen minutes late.
- Offer to help when you can.
- Don’t overindulge: whether it is the pate or the cabernet.
- Thank the host twice: on your way out the door and with a phone call or a written note the next day.
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Here is a situation I was in recently at an informal party to watch a sports match. The occasion was informal, everybody was asked to bring something to contribute to a buffet-style lunch after the match. I know the host well.
At the end of the gathering I offered the host to help clean-up. He politely refused. I insisted and the host politely refused a second time. I insisted a third time. Nevertheless I thought it good manners to still help to clean up and started to do so despite my host’s repeated refusals. Was I impolite to disregard my host’s refusal?
Your host declined your very kind offer three times. Perhaps he was simply being polite, or he is the sort (like me) who has a very specific way of cleaning. If that was the case, it was not good manners to continue to “help” clean, as it may have made your host very uncomfortable. I do hope in the future that you do not disregard your host’s wishes, as he may have very good reasons for them.
Still, there are many hosts out there who appreciate a helpful guest. One or two offers to clean should be sufficient.