1. Elizabeth

    A friend recently cancelled a trip with me at the very last minute. I called her the day before we were leaving and she let me know then that she might cancel the next day due to work. I was a little stunned. I was also very busy working and let her know that I was going to take work with me. (Perhaps she could do the same?) The day of the trip she left a voicemail for me that she indeed was cancelling. She offered to pay her portion of the room. I was so busy with work and also so hurt and confused, that I didn’t call her back. She reached out to me regarding dinner and we are now getting together, a couple months after the trip.

    I had signed up for the trip myself with the understanding from the organizer I could have a roommate. If she had told me a couple weeks in advance, I could maybe have found someone else to go with or could have cancelled. And yet I may have gone alone, but perhaps not. I would have certainly considered all options which I couldn’t at the last minute. Given the uncertainty of all of this, does she owe me 1/2 of room fee ($230.00) or some portion less?

    • Elizabeth

      Elizabeth, it sounds like your friend put you in a real bind. I think what you should have done is: when she called the first time, take a minute to collect yourself and respond in a clear manner. It sounds as though you did not respond clearly (i.e. object to the possibility of her cancelling), and so she assumed it was ok. Your response could have been: “Deb, you know I’ve already paid for the trip, and I only signed up for this trip because I thought it would be fun with two people and because I wouldn’t have wanted to spend the full amount on my own. I’m not sure why you didn’t think about this sooner, but if you don’t go on the trip, you will still owe me your share of the room. It’s really not cool of you to cancel like this at the last minute, because had you done it sooner I could have found someone else to go, and now I can’t do that.”

      At this point, she knows that you’re upset. You can still essentially say the above script, letting her know that she made a commitment and didn’t follow through, and that you expect her to make things right. Barring a true emergency, it’s never ok to cancel on someone last minute for a trip like this.

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