9 Comments

  1. Mika Selm

    I have a question about formal dining, as I recently received a set of Asian soup spoon style appetizer spoons as a gift. I love the presentation of little titbits in those spoons, but I’m curious about how to eat them. I know that with a regular spoon, one should sip from the side of the spoon without putting the whole thing in the mouth, and I’d assume you wouldn’t want that whole bulky spoon in your mouth, but you can’t exactly sip a solid food from the side. What is the proper way to eat these adorable appetizers?

    • Elizabeth

      I think it depends on the appetizer itself. If it can be picked up with the fingers, one may do that, but if not, gravity or a finger may help the food off the spoon and into the mouth. You are correct that the spoon itself would not be placed into the mouth. However, I find with these kinds of things, it’s best not to instruct one’s guests, but rather to politely look away while someone is doing something potentially awkward. People will figure out what is most comfortable and least messy for them, and that the others need not look too closely while that happens.

      • Mika

        Eeek! I would hate to instruct someone else on how to do it, I just wouldn’t want to set a bad example myself. We’re planning a dinner party, and with all the fine china and lace tablecloths, I’d hate to look like a clod trying to eat the food I’d prepared :D If it were something like a thick chocolate mousse with shavings on top, for example, or a melted cheese and prosciutto that would stick to the spoon, should I provide an appetizer utensil for ease of eating?

        • Elizabeth

          Well if you google Asian spoon appetizers you can get a lot of ideas. A mini crab cake, a wonton, a scoop of ceviche… If you need another utensil, it’s probably not the right choice to use with the spoons. I wouldn’t do mousse either, since you don’t want to put your guests in the position of licking the spoon. Something that can be picked up or slide off easily is the ticket.

          • Ashleigh

            I googled “how to off appetizer spoon” and found a ton of recipes for said spoons as well as a bunch of forums where people were relating their difficulties with the same problem.

            Elizabeth brings up a great point – if you google recipes, you really mainly find things that are “slideable” and do not require the person to try to stick the gigantic spoon in their mouth. One of the “difficulty” posts mentioned that it was extremely hard to do a soup out of the spoon because everyone kept spilling it down their front.

            If you do serve something that’s more of a finger food out of the spoons, and you’re worried about people not wanting to use their fingers, there are tiny disposable appetizer forks that you can buy and have out near the spoons perhaps.

            Good luck!!

  2. Jennifer Ward

    My step-son and daughter are graduating high school, and my sister (she lives with us) is graduating college, all next year. I am planning one party for all of them and have questions about a few things. How do I convey on the invitation that the party is for all 3 of them, but that the guest should not feel obligated to bring a gift for all 3 if they don’t feel comfortable with that? For example, family would be expected to bring a gift for all three but if an invited guest only knows one graduate, how can we explain that they should not feel obligated to bring a gift for all 3? I was also considering sending out a save-the-date a few months ahead of time to give the guests ample notice that there are in fact 3 graduates. I was thinking of sending one out to family that emphasizes the party for all 3 and sending ones out to other guests that emphasizes the party for the graduate they know, while also disclosing that it will be for other graduates as well. Again, I would need to point out that they need not feel obligated to bring a gift for all 3 if they don’t know all 3. How do I go about doing this? PLEASE HELP, I’M STRESSING OUT!

    • Elizabeth

      Why is it important that you tell people in advance that it is a party for all three? And why would they need ample notice for this fact?? Graduation parties are usually casual affairs, and a save-the-date seems over the top for something you’re having at home. It is always inappropriate to mention gifts At ALL on invitations.

      I think it does make sense to have two different kinds of invitations – one for family that will mention all three of them, and one for friends that is specific to the graduate, but that doesn’t mention the others. That way, when the friends arrive, they’ll be pleasantly surprised to find themselves at a larger party, but won’t have been able to buy a gift for someone they don’t know. They may SAY that they wished they knew, they would have brought a gift, etc, but they will secretly be relieved.

      The simplest thing, though, would be to send everyone the same invitation, list the three graduates, and allow people to make their own decisions regarding gifts. People really are smart enough to figure it out. And if they come with a larger gift for one and a $5 gift card to Starbucks for the other, there’s nothing wrong with that either.

      • Zakafury

        I would send everyone the same invitation, but certainly not mention gifts. “Be sure you get something for the graduates you know!” is not the message you want to send.

        If you are willing to do the work of four or more different invitations, then you could suggest it’s bigger than one, without creating a shopping list.

        “The Ward Family would be delighted to have you join and the other graduates at…”

        If people call to ask who else they need gifts for, you can disabuse them of that notion tastefully.

        • Zakafury

          A technical issue with the previous post left the name out of my example…

          “The Ward Family would be delighted to have you join ::Sarah:: and the other graduates at…”

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