Q: My spouse and I have been married for three months. A handful of guests, mostly my friends, have not given us gifts yet. Is it still the case that you have one year to give a gift? If we do not receive a gift, what is a proper way to remind them? I don’t think I’d be able to just not mention anything to a friend for the rest of my life. Thank you.
A: Are you kidding? You would really tell your friends that you expect gifts from them? I wonder how many would still want to be your friend. The answer: Be kind. Be patient. Then forget about it. Sure, it’s customary for those invited to a wedding to give a gift, but the one-year time frame has always been a loose myth. Ideally, a gift is sent sometime close to the date of the wedding. A gift that arrives a year later, while certainly a surprise and much appreciated, sort of loses its snap. Hence, the modern advice is to send a gift within a few months of the wedding. If it turns out ultimately that some within that handful of your friends has not thrilled you with goodies, let it go. Chalk it up to their forgetfulness, cluelessness about the custom of wedding gifts or hard times. Friendships are fundamentally based on much more than gifts.
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