6 Comments

  1. Jody

    I agree with the original advice, you definitely need to say something to your in-laws. If that early hour seems reasonable to them, they may not realize it’s not reasonable to others.

    You may also need to turn your phone’s ringer off when you go to bed. If you have voice mail or an answering machine, the message will still go to the machine even if you can’t hear the phone ring.

  2. Toni

    When you call someone, you are asking them to stop what they are doing to talk to you. It isn’t always convenient for them to do that. I was taught phone etiquette as a small child. The very simple rules were: When calling someone, don’t let the phone ring more than five times (this was in the days long before answering machines and voice mail); when you are calling someone you identify yourself first and then ask for the person you want to speak to (still the polite thing to do, even with caller ID on most phones); when you take a message for someone else, write it down, and make sure to get the caller’s phone number; and never call before 9:00 am or after 9:00 pm unless it’s an emergency. I’ve tried to teach my own kids to be polite on the phone; maybe the in-laws need a refresher course ;-)

  3. Elizabeth

    This seems to be an incredibly simple problem. People should not be so bashful about making simple requests: “Mom and Dad, would you mind holding off on the phone calls until 10am on the weekends? Our workweeks are so stressful, we really look forward to relaxing and sleeping in on the weekends.” Done and done.

    If that is for some reason too difficult to articulate, then why not avail oneself of a technological solution: turning the ringer off and letting it go to voicemail. Always be sure to return their calls much later in the morning. Or, just answer the phone and say “We’re still sleeping, can we call you back in a couple of hours?”

    Lastly, if they’re calling for some specific reasons, such as to make plans for later on that day, try being proactive and calling them on Friday to set up the plans, that way they’ll have less of a reason to call in the morning.

    Boundaries, people! Draw them, enforce them, love them!

  4. Melinda

    Boundaries can be tough to make if you have a been raised in a family that doesn’t know what they are.

    It may be hard to do, I know from experience, but very necessary.

    No one has mentioned your spouse in all this. I think you need to discuss this with him and come to this agreement of no calls before 9-10 am ( whatever works for you) and the two of you can let your in-laws know.

    It will make it a lot more easier on you if you have your partner in agreement, and easier to enforce when face to face with your in-laws.

  5. Audrey

    I have had a 10:00 rule on the weekends for years! When my kids became old enough to get up without me, I loved the opportunity to finally sleep late and told my family (and some good friends) to please not call until after 10:00 on the weekends. My kids are adults now, but I still indulge myself on the weekends, and it has become a joke in my family! Also, if the phone rings and someone wakes me up, I usually just ask if I can call them back. I agree with Toni. My father always taught us to ask if this is a good time to talk whenever placing a call because a phone call is essentially an interruption. Pleasant dreams!

  6. ed

    Here is a neat trick I use when I want to sleep in on my day off, and it only takes a minute to fix.

    The night before, change your voicemail box announcement to: “Hi, sorry I missed you, I will be returning all calls after 10AM today (date). If you would like to leave a message, please do so and I’ll get back to you, Thanks..”

    Turn the ringer off and have a great rest!

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