Q: What is the proper way to wear your wedding rings – I have my engagement ring on first and then my band – but I have noticed most people wear it just the opposite the band is on first and then the engagement ring? Is is okay to wear either way?
A: Just before the ceremony, the bride switches her engagement ring from her left hand to her right. At the ceremony, the wedding band is placed by on the bride’s left hand. After the ceremony, the engagement ring is returned to the bride’s left hand on top of the wedding band. Therefore, it is considered more appropriate to wear the engagement ring on “top” of the wedding band. However, it is still your choice as to the order of your rings.
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{ 51 comments… read them below or add one }
I was told that the engagement ring goes on second, with the purpose of ensuring that the wedding band can’t fall off.
I always understood the reason was so the wedding band would be closer to the heart.
I agree with Jodi. I’ve always understood the band takes over for keeps where the engagement ring was a place holder for the real thing, closer to your heart.
I was told once that the band goes closer to your heart (because the wedding means the most to the woman) and the engagement ring is closer to his heart (because asking you to marry him and giving you the engagement ring was from his heart). I guess for the most part, any of the “etiquette” for how to wear the ring is just things that have been told and passed down for generations anyway. lol
I’d be curious to know how many people wear their engagement ring and/or wedding ring daily? My rings are of two different metals, and so I’m not supposed to wear them together regularly. Plus, my engagement ring has a thicker band, making wearing them together not super comfortable. Lastly, my engagement ring is pretty blingy, so I only wear it on special occasions, preferring to wear my wedding band daily.
I wear both, but the stones match (green!), and the wedding band is a more modestly decorated band that belonged to his late grandmother. Nothing that would get in the way of typing. My mother, however, does not wear her engagement band as my father purchased for her a new set on their 30th anniversary. It looks like she wears both as she sports two rings, but neither was the actual engagement ring.
What an interesting question – I too would like to hear what others do.
I wear mine daily. After we got engaged and were looking at wedding bands, we made sure to find one that matched the engagement ring as well as a wedding band for him that would match my set. I’m going to have them fixed so they will stop rotating separately sometime in the future. We’ve been married 2 years on may 21st and I still don’t like taking them off.
Q. Our son is getting married and the future in laws are not contributing to the wedding. My wife and I will be paying for half of the wedding expenses. Since we are considered hosts and they are not should we follow the traditional rules of the brides parents and just apply to the grooms parents? It seems like they just want us to pay for the wedding and they still want to act like they are the hosts and keep my wife and I out of the loop. Incidentally, their guest list is larger than ours!
Hosting is not related to who pays. The bride’s parents are still eligible to be the official hosts even if they aren’t paying. If you feel you are being kept out of the loop, I suggest asking your son to act as a liason between the two families so he and his bride can encourage his future in-laws to keep them in the look and relay any information to you as well.
Paying does give you an ability to say this is what we are willing to pay for and this is what we are not willing to pay for. So you can say max numbers of people. You get a ton of say in where your money is being spent. The guest list should be limited by the max number affordable and then the guest list should not be either set of parents to decide but instead should be the perview of thebride and grooms to decide. I never understand the parents creating the lists. The bride and grooms know who their family is and who is important on both sides and can weigh 2nd cousin vs college friend of mom better then anyone else.
I recently married on 06/01/13.. I being the bride had issues with my husbands parents financially contributing. I will say that out of respect for my parents, i did not feel that his parents should be recognized for anything more then being his parents. I have to say, that it is only right that the one footing the bill, be the one calling the shots, of course with the bride and groom involved. Personally, as a bride, i would never be ok with my parents making the call and not contributing! I understand some people can not afford it, but come on, everyone can make some sacrifices to put a little away.
I wear the wedding band first. I heard that you are supposed to wear it closest to your heart.
I was brought up being told the wedding band goes first to be next to and protect the heart.
When my sister got married they went the traditional way. The brides family paid for everything with the exception of the flowers, alcohol and the rehearsal dinner. My sister and her fiancé were given a limit on the number of guests the groom could have and the total limit the could invite. My parents just ask for 3 couples who were very close to the family be invited the rest was for the couple to decide. They had 100 people at the wedding. My parent’s set the limit since they we’re paying for the majority of the wedding.
I’ve just got married and I prefer to wear my engagement ring first and then wedding band second. Lots of people especially older people keep telling me I’m wrong but I’m not fussed as I feel it’s more comfortable and looks nicer this way. My wedding band has rubies and diamonds in it so I don’t know of this affects the appearance in any way it appears to sparkle more above the engagement ring rather than below it.
I wear my rings the same way. For my engagement ring to have been sized they had to add 2 little balls to it so it would fit. Which resulted in it leaving marks on my finger. I also feel it looks prettier this way since my wedding band has diamonds in it and it would be over shadowed by the engagement ring. I also never took my ring off to get married my husband didn’t want me to. He said it looks nicer this way.
I wear my engagement ring first then my band. The order i got them I’d the order i wear them. But it is up to you.
I was raised that you wear them in the order you got them… Hence the wedding ring is closer to the tip of my finger to refer to “sealing the marriage”.
I don’t understand why its such a big deal on how u wear your rings the best thing 2 do will be to wear them according 2 how comfortable it feels on your hand. I always said your engagement ring should go on first since it was the first ring your partner purposed followed by your wedding band since that will be the second ring that he place on your finger
My new husband said he had heard the wedding band goes one way if your married still and one way if your spouse is deceased?? Anyone know anything about that ?
To my knowledge, there is no rule that dictates how widows and widowers should wear their wedding bands after their spouse has deceased. They may certainly choose to keep their wedding bands on in whatever order they choose, for as long as they choose.
Wedding rings generally go the same way if married or widowed. However if a widow or widower wishes to switch them around then that is their prerogative as they may wear them however they wish and as long as they wish ( until replacing the rings with new engagement or wedding ring for a future spouse in which case it is tacky not to remove the rings from your prior marriage)
I’ve heard if your spouse is deceased you’re suppose to move yor wedding band from your left hand to your right hand
Widows and Widowers are supposed to wear their wedding bands on their right ring finger, not keep them on the left. When this is done however, is at the discretion of the living spouse and when they feel comfortable moving the ring off of the traditional wedding finger.
I wear my wedding ring first, then the band….and I never take either of my rings off…unless I’m putting on lotion or using strong household cleaners. I don’t believe either will do much to either of my rings, but I just feel more comfortable taking them off during that time.
This is a very big argument with the girls in my family…some believe the wedding band goes on first to be closest to your heart..yet I agree with my mothers argument that the engagement ring goes on first and then the wedding bands to seal the marriage..also it’s more logical to wear the rings in the order in which you received them instead of taking them off & putting them back on again
I agree. I will wear my band on the outside to seal the marriage. Plus, I never take my engagement ring off and I don’t want to start on my wedding day.
Re: Groom’s parents paying, bride’s parents taking credit and inviting the world
This is a touchy subject. In Victorian days, the Bride’s parents would still be listed on the invitation. You look around the web now, and basically invitation sellers are willing to phrase it any way you want.
I have a problem with the Bride’s parents taking credit AND running up the tab.
Possible solutions: 1) Invitation can say Mr. and Mrs. John Doe will to announce the wedding of their son Jim to Jane
2) Wedding Program can say the same
3) Groom’s parents have a very strong right to restrict the guest list to X number of people (basically the number they themselves are inviting) and tell the Bride’s parents that they will need to front the money for invitations over that amount.
That being said, this can set up future difficulties, and fights. I’ve found in life that those who don’t pay their way but want credit are the very same people who get offended easily. So you have to weigh if it’s worth it.
Other considerations are WHY the Bride’s parents are paying….are they financially insecure whereas the Groom’s parents are secure? Have they already paid for a first wedding? Are they upset?
Without more information, it’s hard to give an absolute answer. It does seem quite unfair for them to be taking credit and using the Groom’s parents as their personal credit card.
I wear my wedding band first then my engagement ring I guess its because the band has more meaning to me since thats the ring he put on when we became one. Honestly I never knew there was a right or wrong way
I always thought you should wear your engagement band first and wedding band last. When the groom slides on the wedding band its “completion of the promise”, or “sealing the deal”, whichever you want to call it. But, I love this topic, the views and reasoning are interesting. I may switch up my bands to see who responses.
I have always worn engagement ring first! I heard you take off your engagement ring as that brings bad luck when getting married! So I wear engagement first followed buy the wedding band:) I guess it’s personal preference as how to where them, but for me I like them much better this way
I always like the idea of locking in the marriage with the wedding ring closes to the knuckles
I prefer wearing my weeding ring before my engagement ring.
What about a widow. Does she switch the rings when her spouse dies?
A widow may wear her rings as she did before the loss of her husband as long as she wishes(unless or until engagement to another man)
I was always told the wedding band goes on first, then the engagement ring, and that a widow should wear the engagement ring first and then the band.
Widows and Widowers are supposed to wear their wedding bands on their right ring finger, not keep them on the left. When this is done however, is at the discretion of the living spouse and when they feel comfortable moving the ring off of the traditional wedding finger.
I`m the one that asked the question, and I moved them to my right hand and my wedding band is now last or I think men should know the difference so they know when rebound is over they can step in…..
my wedding set are totally separate from my engagement ring. i wear the band to the back and the other to the front, my engagement ring is worn on my right hand. my wedding set is worn everyday however the engagement is worn along only only special occasions.
I’ve been married a year on Valentines day and at first I wore my engagement ring first but I recently got a new set for our anniversary and the person who sold it to.me said to wear the band first to keep it close to your heart and the engagement ring second. I see slot of older married women wearing it this way so it must be right.
are u supposed to get the same engagement ring as the guys
The guy doesn’t get an engagement ring just a wedding band but the wedding bands are supposed to match
The wedding band goes closest to your Heart! Therefore the wedding band goes on first.
In Germany we wear our wedding rings on our right hands.
I wear the wedding band first, then the engagement ring.
Traditionally the wedding band must be the same for husband and wife.
The wedding band goes on first and then the engagement ring because once you get married your wedding band can take all the punishment of washing toilets and changing diapers and your diamonds can stay safe til you go out or go back to work. When I got married my wedding band went on that day and it was on my finger until I separated from my husband 18 years 11 months and one week after getting married. As for the wife and husband having matching bands… my second husband wears his fathers wedding band which is yellow gold and my wedding set is new and is white gold.
I wear the band first because my engagement ring is a heart-shaped solitaire and isn’t centered on its band so my weding ring balances the look better when worn first. I had heard that the band should go first to be closer to the heart but these days many wedding sets are designed to be worn as the designer planned, usually band first.
I was always told that widows wear their wedding band in top & engagement eting under that.
What is the meaning of wearing the wedding band on your thumb? I see that a lot.
Usually it is a widow who wears their husbands ring that way or a son or daughter who has lost their father and wears their fathers ring that way.
I wear mine wedding band then engagement. When we were planning the wedding we found a ring set that we liked and had the engagement stone reset into the wedding set. It solved the problem of the engagement ring not matching whatever we decided we wanted.