Open Thread

by epi on February 29, 2012

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Winifred Rosenburg February 29, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Is there a rule about which side to go to when hugging someone? It can be awkward when two people both go to the same side.

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Country Girl February 29, 2012 at 7:54 pm

I have not been able to find a rule on this, but my vast experience as a hugger tells me that most people (being right handed) put their right arm up and left arm down for a hug. Following suit, heads each respectively go to the left of each other so that your right cheeks are next to each other. (Of course just because this is the norm does not mean that there still won’t be that rogue 15% who will awkwardly switch it up by going left up or both arms straight out.) In most cases you just have to enter a hug a little bit cautiously to make sure you’re both on the same page and don’t end up accidentally groping something you shouldn’t, getting tangled, or banging heads. ;-)

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Miss Juice February 29, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Is a married woman who keeps her maiden name a Mrs. or a Ms.? Like if I were addressing an invitation to a married couple named John Smith and Belinda Shamoze would I say: Ms. Belinda Shamoze and Mr. John Smith
Or: Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Belinda Shamoze
Or even: Mr. John Smith and Ms. Belinda Shamoze
?

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Winifred Rosenburg February 29, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Mr. John Smith and Ms. Belinda Shamoze

Mrs. never used if the women uses her maiden name. Actually it is never used with the woman’s first name either; Mrs. John Smith is the only correct way to use Mrs.

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Confused February 29, 2012 at 9:01 pm

I have a complex two part question, dealing with how to communicate to people my relationship with a mentally ill person, without labelling them as such.

A parent of mine was been has been diagnosed with Narcissitic Personality Disorder. Recently they stopped speaking to me. Now they are contacting common friends on facebook, and the entire family, slandering me. All of these people are contacting me and asking for an explanation. No one outside of immediate family is aware of the NPD.

Q1: How do I politely defend myself without telling them about the NPD. It’s important to note that people with NPD are impossible to deal with even with treatment. The people contacting me are very insistent that I resolve things and keep trying to resolve them.

Q2: How can I explain that I have done my best and its out of my hands. They don’t seem to understand that and short of explaining the NPD condition I don’t know how to deal with these consistently reoccurring situations.

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Just Laura February 29, 2012 at 9:19 pm

I suggest this site for those who are anxious to learn more about this disorder.

For both questions: Tell them that Parent is going through a rough patch right now and is looking for a safe target, but is seeking treatment, and you support Parent in this endeavor 100%. Any further questions are out-of-line, and you may respond with “How kind of you to take an interest. I assure you, we’re doing all we can.”

I do not envy your situation. I hope you realize that some people don’t want our help, and may not need to be in our lives.

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