11 Comments

  1. Pam

    When people talk about thank you cards, I have always thought that most wedding and shower gifts that I have given were followed by a thank you card. Then I realized that this is not true. I just realized that in the past 3 years I have attended 9 weddings/showers and only received a thank you card for TWO of them. Of those, it is only one person who sent a thank you card for both her shower and her wedding. This is quite astonishing to me. I know that people are saying that thank you cards and RSVPs seem to be dwindling, but I never even realized that it had dwindled so much in my own life!! Are other people experiencing this? I couldn’t even ask “did you get my gift?” because in each case I either saw them open it or I know that my check was deposited.

  2. Jerry

    A family friend is getting married in a very small ceremony. I didn’t make the cut (nor should I have given the size of their guest list). In any case, I want to send something to acknowledge the wedding. Since there will be no registry, I’m at a loss. What do I buy, how much do I spend, when do I send the gift?

    • Elizabeth

      Jerry, the answer to your question is unfortunately unspecific – you buy them whatever you want at whatever price point seems right to you. Since this is a token of your affection, it can really be anything. If you know the family friend is into certain things, you can certainly aim for something that suits their interests or their taste. If you want to buy them an object, it’s best to include a gift receipt just in case it doesn’t fit in with their lives (or they already have one). Lastly, I think it makes sense to send it to the home of the family friend – whichever member of the bridal party (bride or groom) that you know.

  3. Alicia

    Send the gift anytime from when they get engaged to 1 year after the wedding but ideally in a few months before or after the wedding. But do not send it when they will be away for the wedding and honeymoon.
    Amount to spend has to do with your budget and your closeness. What to get has to do with what the happy couple would enjoy and what you would like to get them.

  4. Samantha

    I know its tradition for the Groomsmen to buy individual wedding gifts as well as a group gift. Is this the same for bridesmaids? Should the ladies as a group purchase a present for the bride and groom in addition to their own personal gift for the couple?

  5. Alicia

    Your idea of traditional is incorrect. Groomsmen an bridesmaids traditionally give a wedding gift sometimes they do a group gift sometimes individual gifts. Either is fine but only one gift needed. So if you are a bridesmaid and join in a group gift that fufills your wedding gift expectations. Anything above and beyond that is generous but by no means needed nor should be expected.
    Group gifts- unless all the bridesmaids are at about the same fiscal level and there is a great idea for a group gift I’m generally agaist these because it usually ends up with one of two people being pressured to pay more then they are comfortable affording.

  6. Natalie

    Question: my husbands brothers wife, a mutual friend of ours, my husbands sister and her daughter who is 21 are all going to the beach this weekend, I, however, was not invited. I have been in this family for 12 years now but we have been married almost one year. This is not the first time it has happened and it really bothers me that I am excluded, But I do consider myself to be a fairly sensitive person. So, I am here for an unbiased opinion. Should I be upset about not getting invited? I have a feeling that my husbands brothers wife does not like me very much, (I dont know why) and this just further confirms my assumptions. Thanks-Nat!

    • I didn’t see that you said your husband is invited, your husband’s brother, any parents or cousins, or anyone in the family other than the four people mentioned. It appears these people are close to each other and wanted to go to the beach.
      I suggest the following: Don’t worry about it so much, call some of your friends, and drive to a different beach.

      • Natalie

        Just Laura-that is correct its just them. The thing is we live right beside each other (the brothers wife and I) and I am close to the other three. The relationship between her and I (the brothers wife) feels strained, and there have been other things as well-like her not attending my bridal shower, lingerie shower and bachelorette shower. I have been trying to no avail to make things better. Thanks for your suggestions they have made me feel better and I called my bestie and we have plans for saturday! :) any other suggestions are welcomed also…

        • That was, um, an abundance of showers.

          Not everyone in families gets along (as I’m sure you are aware). They won’t all be the best of friends, or even very good friends, and this doesn’t imply that anyone is a bad person. Apparently you are not lacking for enjoyable people with whom to spend your time, so I hope you have a wonderful day on Saturday, and don’t let even one thought linger on other people. :D

          • Natalie

            Thanks. The last wasnt a shower, it was a bachelorette party, my bad. I did forget to mention that she was in the wedding also. I didnt ask for her to spend a dime, I was a very good bride-they wore balck dresses their choice on price and I didnt care what shoes, any black shoes they had. I wanted them to be able to use it again, and what girl doesnt need a good black dress.Needless to say, she didnt attend the 2 showers or the bachelorette party. She attended the wedding and then went to the bar and didnt socialize at all. BUT anyway! Thanks for your advice!! :)

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