1. Danielle

    I disagree on the ring.
    If you end an engagement before you get married, you return the ring. The only exceptions are if the guy proposes on Christmas or your birthday, then it’s a gift and you get to keep the ring. There’s legal precedence for this.
    If you get annulled or divorced, even if it’s very shortly after the marriage, the bride keeps her engagement ring since the promise of marriage was fulfilled.

    • Ah, but part of the law (which varies by state) indicates that if the man breaks off the engagement, the woman retains the ring. If the woman breaks off the engagement , then it is to be returned since it was a “gift with intent to marry” (assuming the man purchased it).
      I agree with EPI that even if marriage was fulfilled, a lady would return an heirloom ring to the ex-husband’s family. It is simply the kind thing to do.

    • Zakafury

      I think the EPI did a fine job of avoiding treating marriage like a commodity.

      I hope that the ring does not buy a commitment from the bride the way Danielle’s argument seems to suggest.

  2. Heather

    Maintaining an amicable relationship is far more important than the value of a ring (or any other item in the household). I really like the answer given; basically, work together to decide who gets it back. Drawing lines in the sand about “It’s a gift” or “It represented a commitment” will usually result in anger and bitterness, in a situation where there will already be plenty of hurt to go around.

    • Lori C

      According to the advice above:
      The time when wedding gifts should be returned is when a wedding is canceled, the couple never lives together or the couple separates and seeks to end the marriage almost immediately (say, within two or three months). In such cases gifts, including cash, are returned (presumably they haven’t been used or spent) with a short note of explanation.
      It doesn’t make any sense to return used gifts. In my opinion, the cash should be returned regardless.

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