Open Thread

by epi on November 25, 2011

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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

SR November 25, 2011 at 5:51 am

I am attending an out-of-town wedding for 2 days, reception followed by wedding the next day. The train tickets are already booked by the bride for us (we are a group of friends). She has also arranged for accommodation for others, but, I chose to make my own arrangement. This said, I want to attend either of the events and not both. I offered to pay for my tickets, but the bride refused. But, since the bride is paying for travel, would it be right on my part to skip the reception and only attend the wedding on the second day? The rest of the group plan to attend both events.


Winifred Rosenburg November 25, 2011 at 4:04 pm

I’m a little confused about the two-day thing. I think I’m missing something. Did you RSVP that you are attending the reception? If so, you must attend the reception. Although ceremonies do not require RSVPs, it is rude to attend the reception but not the ceremony.


Lady Antipode November 27, 2011 at 10:10 pm

If you must choose, your priority should be the ceremony, as this is when the couple will actually get married. The reception is just the party to celebrate the event. As Ms Rosenberg said, if you miss the event, you can’t really go and celebrate.


Pam November 25, 2011 at 4:16 pm

I’m a little confused. To me, a wedding is both the ceremony and the reception follows. Do you mean you want to skip the ceremony and only go to the reception? If so, you are free to do as you please, but I don’t understand why the ceremony and reception are on 2 different days. If you are going to be in the area any way, what is preventing you from going to both? If you are traveling a day later b/c of work obligations, family obligations, etc, then the bride would just have to understand. In all honesty I have always sort of wondered why some people don’t bother with the ceremony, which is when you are actually witnessing the couple get married.


Winifred Rosenburg November 25, 2011 at 9:20 pm

I don’t think it’s okay to go to the reception but not the ceremony. My feelings were hurt when certain people did that for my wedding. It says, “I don’t really care about the start of your marriage, but I’ll take free food and liquor.”


SR November 26, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Thank You, Pam & Winifred, for your inputs.


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