Open Thread

by epi on November 23, 2011

Amazon Order Emily Post Etiquette 18th EditionWelcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Tifany November 23, 2011 at 9:42 am

Hello,
I have a question about the etiquette of a situation that just happened to me. I had purchased a ticket to a charity event which included light refreshments, a book talk and books. I was attending with some acquaintances as a group. I had already paid for my ticket when I had to cancel the morning of. I had a terrible virus and had several reasons for canceling: 1) feeling ill 2) not wanting to expose the group or anyone else to the virus 3) my cough would have been really annoying to the crowd and presenters. The women decided to give away my ticket and only informed me after the fact. No money was offered by the person who took the ticket. Please comment on this as I find myself thinking that they should have asked my permission first not told me after the fact. Thank you so much.

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Zakafury November 23, 2011 at 10:41 am

I appreciate that you feel taken advantage of, but I would let this one slide. Using a ticket rather than letting it be wasted is a treat for the person who receives it, but doesn’t cost the giver anything. You should expect a “thank you” from the person who used the ticket, but it is possible he or she doesn’t even know it was yours. In this particular case, I hope the one who attended the charity fundraiser made a donation to the charity.

If there was any breach of etiquette is was on the part of your friend who was holding your ticket, not the person using it. You could mention to the woman who decided to give away your ticket that you would have appreciated being asked in advance. Be warned, though, it may sound petty to demand repayment in a case like this.

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Tifany November 23, 2011 at 11:11 am

Thanks, Zakafury. I was feeling that the responsibility lay with the woman offering my ticket as well. The repayment would have felt like an non-issue if I was the one giving the ticket. It just felt really rude how it was handled. Would you say anything about that to the woman? Of course not mentioning the money but just the other part?

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Yesam Evets November 27, 2011 at 9:57 pm

Scenario:
My fiance and I were recently the guests of honor at a going-away/engagement party hosted by a friend. Several of the guests brought bottles of wine and/or beer to contribute. One guest, in particular, brought a bottle of wine from a region we had recently visited and handed this bottle to us. On the gift bag, there was a card with a personal sentiment directed towards us. The couple also brought beer for the party in addition. I interpreted this bottle of wine to be a gift to us, not the hostess. Upon leaving, I was taking this bottle of wine and the hostess stopped me and asked: “What are you doing?”
Question:
What is the proper etiquette here?

Reply

Elizabeth November 28, 2011 at 7:22 am

The hostess should not have put you on the spot like that. But you can simply answer: “Oh, Bob brought us back a bottle of wine from Spain as an engagement gift. Wasn’t that thoughtful?”

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