8 Comments

  1. Debbie

    We sent out email invitations for a party to celebrate my mom’s 80th birthday. We didn’t even think about whether or not she’d want children to come so the invites were very general. Someone has asked if they can bring their two kids and after careful consideration, my mom has decided she really doesn’t want kids there, only the adults. Now what do we do?

    • Elizabeth

      What kind of kids are we talking about here – toddlers, or the teenage or grown children of your friends? If it’s very young children you’re talking about, you can easily say “I’m sorry, Friend, but the party has become something that we no longer feel comfortable having children at, as it’s late at night and alcohol will be served.” But, if it’s older children, I think you just suck it up and let them come.

    • Winifred Rosenburg

      I’m not really sure what you mean by wording the invitations general. The names that are on the invitation are the people invited. If you wrote Mr. and Mrs. Smith you can say no to the children. If you wrote Mr. and Mrs. Smith and family, it’s implied that they can bring their kids.

      • Elizabeth

        The OP said they were email invitations, and were probably emailed to one member of the family and not explicit about who was and was not invited.

    • Country Girl

      In being general/unclear with who was invited, at this point, you will probably want to call and confirm with ALL invitees. “I just wanted to make sure you and your husband are able to make it to Mother’s birthday party next Saturday.” (then you can address the question of “Oh we were planning to bring little Johnny, is he not invited?”)

      Unless it is more obviously an adult party (Ie. cocktails at a fancy restaurant at 8pm) other families wouldn’t necessarily be remiss to have taken this open invitation to include their children as well, so may be planning to bring them. It would be pretty uncomfortable for everyone if some families unknowingly show up with children and some were told no.

      I know it can be hard sometimes with the excitement and stress of planning a party, but exactly who is invited is one of those decisions that really should be made before any type of invitations are sent out.

  2. Rick

    My family gets invited to parties. 4kids and us makes 6. I make sure my kids are well behaved and we make sure to bring a gift for birthdays and food to pot lucks. Recently my wife wants to invite her brother and his family (5kids and wife so 7people). 2 older teens are Know-it-all typical teenagers that don’t greet or make anyone feel welcomed, even at my own home. When they visit, they dont even greet you Hello. And one of the 8 yr old has been caught taking toys from us too. Urg! I respect my wife and i understand that it is family. But why does she feel the need to invite them to a party that we are not even hosting?

    • Jody

      Rick, if somebody else is hosting the party it’s definitely out of place for your wife to invite others. An invitation is only for those invited. If somebody has family visiting at the time of the party, the guest should decline with “won’t be able to make it as we have family visiting that day.” It’s up to the host to say “bring them along,” it’s not for the guest to say “I’ll be there and I’m bringing X family members with me.”

    • Elizabeth

      Rick, even if those kids were perfect angels, it still wouldn’t be ok to invite another family to someone else’s party. Even though it is a potluck, there is still a lot of planning that goes into parties – will the hosts have enough seating, plates, silverware, drinks, etc? To show up with 7 additional uninvited people is terrible, and a surefire way to never be invited back.

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