Children’s Costumes: When the rules are different

by epi on October 31, 2011

Q: After a trip to the mall with another mom, my 13-year-old daughter and her friends returned with midriff-baring Halloween costumes I consider inappropriate.  Should I give in or call the girls’ moms and suggest that we return the costumes?

A: Stick to your rules, but work with your daughter to find a solution- perhaps a leotard under the top.  Also, call the other mom, thank her for taking your daughter shopping, and, without criticizing, mention your rule and explain your compromise.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Chara October 31, 2011 at 11:07 am

I have to disagree just a little- If your rule is that it’s inappropriate, don’t let her wear it. Period. Use it as an educational moment and talk to her about why it’s inappropriate and why you are having her return it, or not letting her wear it. She may be upset, but your rules are your rules.
This is probably also a good time to think about the way you are communicating with your daughter. Did you make it clear, up front, what your rules are on what is appropriate and what isn’t? Is she following her friends, so that she’ll fit in? Does she really like the outfit, and why?
You can’t tell other mothers what they should let their children wear, but I do agree that you should probably let the other mother know what your rules are, though without criticism.

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Alicia October 31, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Your daughter needs to return her outfit. Her friend should not be asked to return friends outfit. If friends mom paid your daughter should return the money to friends mom. Daughter then can make a costume that fits your guidelines if you do not ground her from halloween for breaking your rules.

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Tanya October 31, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Make your daughter return the costume. She won’t be happy or understand now, but she’ll thank you later. And it may be much later – when she’s dressing her daughter for “trick or treat.”

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