Q: My daughter is getting married in the coming months. Since I am out of state, the in-laws are handling most of the wedding plans. The wedding and reception will both take place in back yards, which limits attendance. Only 90 invites were printed (requiring RSVP) of which our family only received 30. If the location were different, our family could have easily used 100 invites. How do I properly determine who gets the invitations to the wedding & reception and how do we formally notify everyone else on our list of the exciting upcoming event? What is proper etiquette and how do we handling the announcement without hurting feelings?
A: This is always the hardest part of wedding planning, for it requires such difficult choices. You can help yourself by sticking with categories – only aunts and uncles, not cousins, for example. Family friends who know your daughter well and not those who barely know her. . . when you begin looking at your list this way you can begin eliminating names more easily. For the others, you order announcements that may be mailed as early as the day after the wedding. Announcements are a great way to share happy news, and they don’t obligate the recipient to send a gift in return.