1. Bridget

    I have a question I just cant find a solid answer to. I have a friend who sent a wedding gift and at the same time suffered a very tragic loss. I need to write a thank you note and a sympathy note. It seems callous to combine them, but it doesn’t seem appropriate to send a thank you note simultaneously that doesn’t mention the loss. Is there a guideline for this?

    • Elizabeth

      I think you can do one of two things. You can either write a note the combines both sentiments (which isn’t as bad as its sounds: “Dear Friend, thank you so much for the beautiful vase, Brad and I love it. Of course, it is a little bittersweet, knowing that you are going through such a difficult time right now with the passing of your mother. Etc…)

      The second alternative is to call your friend, talk to her about her loss, thank her verbally, and then send a thank you note to follow up. If you’ve already talked at some length about her loss, then you won’t need to mention it in the thank you note.

    • Zakafuruy

      This is the time for a good old fashioned letter. It is more than required in either circumstance, but stikes me as te perfect level of personal attention to devote to the circumstances, especially since you’re clearly concerned about it.

  2. Alicia

    I would send two notes
    Send the sympathy letter first. It is the more important one. Wait a week then send the thank you note.
    I also would have trouble being joyful which is the correct tenor of a thank you note and sadly sympathetic which is the correct tenor of a sympathy note at once.
    My sympathies for your friend.

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