Q: My boyfriend and I work together and have been living together along with one of our colleagues for the past six months. Unfortunately, we have talked to him several times about his cleanliness and tidiness. I have gotten to the point where I no longer want to live with him. My boyfriend however is willing to put up with whatever since he says that I am the cleanest in the house. Is there anything I can do to remedy the situation or how shall I call it quits?
A: This is of course a touchy situation, but if you don’t really want to make any changes right now in the base of your relationship, then you might keep reminding him of his responsibility to everyone else in terms of upkeep. You could even ask him if he has a problem with your requests that he do his share and hear what he has to say. He may say it doesn’t matter to him, or he doesn’t notice, or he thinks you are too finicky. . or he may pledge to try to improve. If his tidiness is leaving things around the apartment, you can suggest that you will, to keep from nagging, simply put his things in a box, in his room, so he can deal with them when he feels like it. This still has you picking up after him, but may give you greater freedom to have things the way you want them without having to literally nag.