Open Thread

by EPI Staff on July 2, 2011

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This open thread is your space to use as you like.  We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Brenda July 2, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Several couples have gotten married recently and put a “blanket” invitation to the wedding in the church newsletter. However, they go on to state that the reception is by invitation only. I feel that this is very “tacky”. The reception should not even be mentioned – it is like saying come to the wedding and bring me a gift but you are not important enough to come to the reception. How does everyone else feel? Here is how the announcement is worded. Am I the only one that thinks this is “wrong”?
Mr. and Mrs. xxxx
invite you to celebrate the marriage
of their daughter,
xxxx
To
xxxxx
son of xxxx
Saturday, July ——
at 4:00 PM
Church
(Private reception to follow
by personal invitation only)

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Mrs. Czeisel July 3, 2011 at 2:02 pm

You are correct. Invitations should only go to people who are invited to the reception. Although information about the ceremony is the main feature of the invitation, people actually generally don’t need an invitation to a ceremony. It’s considered a public event. If for some reason it isn’t and invitations are a practical necessity, the event people aren’t invited to shouldn’t be mentioned.

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Zakafury July 2, 2011 at 8:19 pm

This sounds to me like it’s going to be a wedding at a mass which would be celebrated with or without the couple. It strikes me as a courtesy announcement for anyone who would be there at 4 on Saturday. I don’t think attending a public wedding calls for a gift. I’m loathe to link the gift to the party, but those are the actual invitations in this case.

I do agree that mentioning the reception is tacky. If I were involved I would have made the newsletter announcement sound like something from the minister or a deacon, etc. “Bridename and Groomname will be married during 4:00 services on July __! Congratulations and blessings to them! They will be holding their reception in the parish hall that evening, so it will not be available for other activities.”

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