Open thread

by EPI Staff on November 12, 2010

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This open thread is your space to use as you like.  We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Just Laura November 12, 2010 at 3:44 pm

Yesterday the posts were a bit jumbled, so I thought it would be more convenient and less confusing if I moved my question to today’s post.
I had inquired about Bridal Luncheons. As I won’t be having a bridal shower and am reluctant to be greedy, I had thought a Bridal Luncheon could be a way to have the “shower” feel with no gifts involved. I’ve only been to one (when I was 14) and am unfamiliar with what is involved and what is polite.

-Who hosts? Does it matter?
-Who pays?
-Who is invited?
-Are invitations issued?
-What level of formality is expected?

My thanks to GraceandHonor for replying in yesterday’s thread.

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Alicia November 12, 2010 at 5:23 pm

Hi,
I think it depends. I’ve been to two different types. One is hosted by the bride in honor of her bridesmaids and the moms and is the lunch or brunch on day before the wedding usually. The bride plans, invites, pays, ect. I have seen this at casual to very formal. Meals ranging from waffles to lobster.
The other type I have seen is a friends family has a traditional bridall ladies lunch that is hosted by the aunts in that family. It was also the day before the wedding and was a very formal tea for all the ladies in the wedding party and in the families of the bride and groom.
Gifts are not given at either type. Although the second type the aunts of the groom hosting had put together a cookbook of all the family recipes and a photobook of the groom as a kid.
So basically it depends I think on who wants to host and what the host would like the party to be like.

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Just Laura November 12, 2010 at 8:47 pm

Alicia,
In your opinion, if my mother were to host, would it be appropriate if she paid, or would I be expected to pay? The reason I ask is because I’m paying for 1/2 the wedding (groom is getting the other 1/2), plus my dress, reception, etc; in addition, I bought my MOH’s dress, and will pay for one night’s hotel stay for her and her husband to offset her travel expenses. I’m not telling you this to discuss how wonderful I am (ha), but rather to explain why I probably won’t have the money to pay for yet another party.

I like the cookbook idea.

Reply

Alicia November 15, 2010 at 2:14 pm

Just Laura,
I think if your mom wants to hostess(and pay) that would be lovely. I would call it a ladies lunch or brunch not a bridal lunch just to make it a smidge more clear.
I totally understand how expensive this gets.
Alicia

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