Q: A lunch with a friend was nearly ruined by a young child’s kicking the back of the booth I was sitting in. I was irritated, but my friend told me to “lighten up” and ignore it, so I did nothing. But could I have said something to the child’s parents without it becoming a big deal?
A: Sure. You could have been forthright – but not huffy – and said to the parents: “Excuse me, I’m sure you don’t realize it, but your daughter’s kicking is shaking the entire booth. Would you mind asking her to stop? Thanks so much!” That approach works – most of the time.
Some parents respond to these reasonable requests with defensiveness, even anger. When that happens, it’s not worth it to keep pressing. Such conversations can escalate, turning meals into indigestible fiascoes. Another option: Ask your waiter to move you to a different table, which still disrupts a meal but frees you of troublesome neighbors.
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I have found in those situations that directly addressing ths kid is often effective with kids toddler and above. A simple “Would you please stop kicking the booth it is shaking me around. Thank you!” Most kids will immediatly stop and the parents are much less likely to contradict or disagree as you have not addresses them.
If you do ask to have your table moved, make sure that the restaurant knows it has nothing to do with the quality of service you’ve received from your server.
As a former server, I can say it is always very disturbing when parents do not manage their child’s actions politely and/or well. I have found that (as a customer) that when this occurs, a firm yet smiling request to please refrain from kicking, jumping, and all around meal ruining directed at the parents and child is very effective. I also have found that the tone needs to be pleasant, yet soft enough as to not disturb others–or potentially embarass the parents in a public situation. Saying with grace always saves face