Q: Can I change my “yes” RSVP to “no,” if I find out I can’t attend my friend’s wedding?
A: Yes. No. Yes. See how confusing it can be? Once you accept a wedding invitation, you are obliged to attend. The only excuses: there’s a death in the family or you’ve suddenly taken ill. In these cases, call the bride or groom to apologize. Needless to say, don’t pull a last-minute no-show.
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Thank you for posting! People don’t realize when they don’t show up to a wedding they’ve RSVP’d to they can end up costing the bride and groom hundreds of dollars.
I have a question myself. My brother had asked me to housesit for him six months before a trip he had planned to take abroad. I said I would do it, and we had an agreement. One month before his trip, when I tried to confirm it with him, he tells me he has someone else who is going to do it instead. Shouldn’t he have told the other person he already had someone else to housesit? (me). I thought it was rude and insulting and very disrepectful and uncourteous.
Yes, your brother was rude. First of all, you should not have had to chase him down to confirm the housesitting details. You could, perhaps, tell your brother that you imagine there was some sort of miscommunication, but that, in the future, you would appreciate notification when plans have been changed. The next time he asks you for a favor you can decide if you are available to carry out the favor, and if you decide to help him out, confirm the details immediately.
I have a question that is somewhat related. I sent a save the date to a friend of mine for my May 2011 wedding. However, in the past few months, she has become very unreliable and distant. She’s disregarded my attempts to make plans with her and ignored text messages and e-mails. When I confronted her about it, she seemed unconcerned and denied that anything was wrong, but her aloof behavior has continued to the point that I am now having second thoughts about inviting her to the wedding. What is the best way to handle this situation?
More than one source has told me that everyone who receives a Save-The-Date card must also receive a wedding invitation (Emily Post Institute, Miss Manners, etc). It’s just common sense and polite. However, if you suspect that your friend is no longer your friend, why are you worried about sending an invitation? Send it anyway. She may not attend. Then you have your answer re: your friendship, and have no more worries.
Nice website, btw.
Thank you for the compliment and the advice!