Q: My niece was planning a February wedding, but when her fiance was called to overseas military duty, the couple opted for a small ceremony right before he shipped out. I hear they may stage a larger wedding when he gets back. Should I send the gift now?
A: Take your gift-giving cue from your niece and her parents. If the couple is definitely waiting for the groom’s return for their big celebration, you can hold off on the gift. However, if the larger wedding is a vague “maybe,” go ahead and send the present. Either way is fine. If you decide to wait, send the couple a personal note now, offering your warmest wishes. Plus, suggest a fun get-together with your niece; she’ll probably appreciate the attention while her new husband is abroad.
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Another consideration for the bride and groom where one is active military is will their home base change in the near future? In cases where friends have been in this situation, I have asked if they need things to be shipped later. One less thing for the home front spouse to pack and move can be a blessing.
They got married now and I would send the gift now as it is in celabration of the marriage. If they have a party in the future then I would bring a card to the party. But no matter a big party or not later this is when they got married and I would send it relatively promptly.
As someone who has experienced a similar situation (the military shipped me away instead of my husband) I would suggest you give your gift now.
I have been legally married for over a year and a half now, and the likelihood we will have a ceremony in the future looks smaller and smaller. No one gave us a gift then, but when our moms realized that we probably won’t re-take our vows (approximately at our first anniversary) they gave us gifts.
Military personnel do not change bases during (or shortly after) a posting/ base change, so that should not be too much of a concern.
Correction to my previous posting (the last paragraph): Military personnel do not change bases during (or shortly after) a tour of almost any kind, unless is it directly related to their getting promoted.
My daughter is getting married overseas in January. We may or may not have a party to celebrate in two years when she returns. Should I send out announcements of the engagement, the wedding, both or neither? Should there be any mention of gift giving?
I plan to send a “wedding in a box” as I will not be there. Is it appropriate to ask my siblings to send cards to me to include in the box?
Wedding announcements would be very appropriate immediatly following the wedding. People at that point will send along their congratulations and any gifts or cards they wish to send. Asking for gifts is never polite. If someone says that they were thinking of sending something you can offer to include it in your package but that is really the extent.