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Open thread

by EPI Staff on August 30, 2010

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This open thread is your space to use as you like.  We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Cindy August 30, 2010 at 10:09 am

I have noticed the latest thing restaurants & stores are doing to make themselves appear polite is have all the employees shout “Good Morning welcome to _____” everytime someone enters. Someone saying welcome to you near the door would seem fine. But isn’t it rude to to the people standing at the counter trying to order to have it shouted in their face every few seconds by the people who are suppose to be taking their order. My mother told me it’s rude to shout at someone across the room when someone’s in front of you trying to tell you something. Half the time they have to ask me repeatedly what I ordered. Am I wrong?

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Graceandhonor August 30, 2010 at 10:21 am

Cindy, what you have observed is the latest corporate directive delivered from the main office with the command, “Be friendly and warm to our customers; greet everyone of them immediately! We can’t afford to be perceived as less friendly than Mom and Pop’s diner! Do this or you will be fired!” So then, the hapless manager initiates the directive literally, and your hearing suffers. The suits at the home office think this will add value to your experience at their establishment while costing them nothing. While I don’t doubt some employees are genuine in their welcome, I suspect most are on automatic pilot, and sadly, this devalues a basic human interaction.

All that being said, the only place I know of that does this in the South is Waffle House. Once in a blue moon, my son and I will go there for breakfast before school, and I must say, “Good Morning!” chorused as we enter the door, is oddly comforting. I suppose it is because it has been done by them since forever, and it would seem odd not to hear it now.

However, if someone is shouting it right over your head everyday, voice your unhappiness to the manager. Sometimes employees just need a fine-tuning.

Best,

G&H

p.s. Ritz Carlton employees have always responded, “My Pleasure!” to a request; now Chik Filet employees do so, too, On one hand, someone could say, “Well, it isn’t special anymore if everyone is doing it.” Instead, perhaps we should think, “Wow! Graciousness is really spreading! Way to go, R.C.!”

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keren September 2, 2010 at 9:34 pm

My brother in law has married for the third time. His current wife has two grown children from two previous marriages (one of them married). The third child is a minor and lives with my brother-in-law and third wife. They expect for “the whole family” to be invited to my home for Thanksgiving Dinner (including her parents). I don’t mind the child who lives with them coming to Dinner, but I don’t even know the others. Am I obligated to invite them all?

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Graceandhonor September 3, 2010 at 11:25 pm

It is time to have a one-on-one with your brother, and say, “Neil, I am very happy you have a new family, but I cannot accommodate all of them at Thanksgiving. I hope you, Andrea, and Nicky will be able to join us.” Do not let him strongarm you. It is improper of him to dictate your guest list. Having said this, sometimes wonderful relationships can be born of unexpected situations. If this means a buffet line and eating off your laps, rather than everyone around one table, this is a chance to consider new possibilities, while taking into account the comfort of your longstanding attendees, too. It is your call.

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