Welcome to Etiquette Daily
This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.
This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.
Previous post: Another Ugly Sweater: When good people give "bad" gifts
Next post: Surprise dessert: To serve or not?
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Hello, I am not sure if I am posting this question in the correct place, However any suggestions and tips would be great.
I need to send flowers as a thank you gift to a very respected blue blood lady in my community, any suggestions on what type of flower would be most helpful.
A mixed bouquet would be fine. Avoid roses and their romantic overtones.
What is the classic salutation to a widow; Miss, Ms or Mrs?
She is Mrs. John Smith until she remarries or decides otherwise.
Is she Mrs. Jane Smith?
She is Jane Smith, or Mrs. Smith, when introducing her; written correspondence should be addressed to Mrs. John Smith.
We recently went to a child’s birthday party where on the invitation we were asked to bring a side dish and they would provide the main dish. It seemed a bit odd to me but was curious what you thought.
I know families do “potluck” gathering for family reunions and just get togethers but for a child’s birthday party I was a bit shocked that we would be told to bring something to the party. Isn’t the family throwing the party responsible for providing food if they want to have a meal or just cake and ice cream?
Yes your friends did not fully host the event that they claimed to be hosting. However there is no way to tell then that they were very tacky in doing this. Better to have cake and koolaid then a whole buffet they could not host for a party they were claiming to host.
My niece (across the county) recently sent an announcement of her marriage, but stated on Facebook and through other channels to save the date for a celebration in 2013. I”m wondering what the proper etiquette is on this situation.
These types of “split” events are increasingly common and increasingly unseemly. If a couple marries, the “celebration” should coincide, unless very unusual circumstances exist, i.e. marriage in a foreign country, or immediately preceding military war duty. You may send a gift immediately upon a wedding announcement, and do not send another one for a future “save the date.” We will hope the future event is a simple reception.
Send her and her husband a congrats card or note now and any gift that you would want to send for her wedding. Their marriage is now. I would put the 2013 date as tenative on y0ur calendar and consider it a family party.
I graduated in May of last year, and I have a huge problem that I feel horrible about. I just found a stack of cards, checks, gift cards and unmailed thank-you notes. I hadn’t wanted to cash the checks until I sent the thank-you notes and with my starting college, and moving, I never sent the thank-you notes or cashed the checks. I also haven’t used the gift cards. Now I’m not sure what to do.
I know a few months ago one of my mother’s friends asked her about why I had not cashed her check, and I’m not sure how to approach this. I don’t really know a lot of these people very well. I think it would be really rude to do nothing, but I also think that it would be really rude to just try to cash checks a year after they have been written. I’m not even sure if a bank would allow them to be cashed so much later. I do want to at least send a note explaining what happened and that I am thankful for their thoughtfulness, but I’m not sure what is acceptable here.
Help, please?
Write new thank you notes now.
For gift cards or cash just send the new thank you notes with the old ones enclosed.
For checks in the thank you note that you apologize for the delay ask if you should cash the check now or not. Either way thank them for their kindness and support.
In the future you have probably learnt your lesson that you should cash checks promptly and send the thank you notes that day. Also it is generally easier I find if you keep a box that contains your adddress book along with stamps, notepaper and cards and a small calendar of what cards you need to send out and when. ( Mine has the birthday list ect)
A friend wants to move into my house. I do have a spare room, however, this individual has a track record of outstaying their welcome. Additionally, this individual is not the cleanest person and just seems to be completely unaware of other people’s personal space. How do I nicely tell them they cannot stay with me? I feel bad because my rejection of their request means they have to move back home with their parents. Any suggestions on the proper way to proceed would be welcomed.
Evelyn,
Being polite does not require being a landlord when when does not wish to be. Simply state that you are flattered that they would like to be roomates but that you relish having your private moments and thus do not allow guests that stay longer then X ( 4 is my rule but some people say 7) days. Then suggest they look for a roomate and house share on craiglist or roomates.com as there are lots of other individuals looking for an inexpensive rental situation.
Best of luck
A