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One of my girlfriends from college is getting married this September, and I am a bridesmaid in their wedding. Through an odd twist of events, 2 of the girls dropped/were kicked out of the wedding party, and two other girls are standing in their place. One of the original girls and I have planned and paid for all of the shower and bachelorette expenses. Originally, we all created a budget and everyone agreed to contribute a certain amount. However, the wedding is quickly approaching (Sept 4, 2010) and myself and the other bridesmaid have not received any money from the other girls. I am still in college, and the other girls have all recently graduated or started families, so money is tight right now for all. Since we created a budget and everyone agreed to contribute, but no one has, what is the appropriate way to handle this? “Susan” and I cannot continue to bear the financial burden for the rest of the girls.
Hi Amanda,
I think the problem you seem to be facing is you and the other bridesmaid “planned and paid for all of the shower and bachelorette expenses”. You took it in good faith that you would be reimbursed and it appears that may now be difficult.
I would take R’s suggestion first and contact all the bridesmaids, letting them know you need reimbursement, per the original agreement. If they are unable to contribute, you can try and get your money refunded and try a cheaper venue for the shower. However, if it is a “nonrefundable” dilemma, there doesn’t seem to be much else you can do except asking the girls to reimburse you when they are able to, and get them to agree to a timeline that works for everyone. After all, they will be partaking in and enjoying the festivities of the bridal shower like everyone else. It would be truly unfortunate if you were never reimbursed, and I hope the girls find their way to do the right thing by you.
The simplest solution would be to first nicely remind each of the non-paying bridesmaids that they have not yet contributed and ask for a payment within a few days.
If they really don’t have the means to contribute financially, try to find a way for them to contribute in a way that reduces the financial burden on the rest of you. For example, instead of having the baby shower at a restaurant, move it to one of the bridesmaid’s apartments, or ask one of the non-contributing bridesmaids to bring all of the ice and plates… or any number of options that might help.
If that doesn’t work, talk to the bride’s mother and explain that you have to drastically cut your budget for these events. She may have some other ideas on how to cut costs.
I received a beautiful and handmade wedding favor from a wedding that I did not attend nor to which I was invited. I know the bride, and several of my friends are very close friends with her and were invited. While I did not mind being left off the invite list (the wedding was in Spain and it would have been impossible for me to attend), I was invited by my friends to contribute to the gift they purchased. I contributed what I could afford and signed the card, which is why I think I’ve received this wedding favor. In hindsight, I probably should have just politely declined contributing to the gift fund. In any case, do I need to send a thank you note? The favor is a handmade (by the bride) brooch presented in a handmade box. Thanks!
In what manner did you receive the brooch? Was it handed to you or sent via mail? Was there any note included at all?
It was handed to me by a friend of the bride who had attended the wedding. There was no note.
It was gracious of you to participate in a gift for the bride and she is acknowledging your graciousness. A note from you, exclaiming over her special acknowledgement, would be entirely appropriate.
Since it was a wedding favor and handed to you by a friend who attended the wedding I would make sure the friend who was at the wedding was not just giving you a favor she did not like that she thought you may like before sending a thank you card. If it indeed came from the bride then I think a thank you card is very appropriate and kind.
Thank you, all. This is very helpful. I will send a note right away.