Q: My daughter’s new husband is terrific, but I cringe when he calls me Mom. I’d much prefer to be called by my first name, but I know my daughter addresses his parents as Mom and Dad, and I don’t want to seem as if I’m criticizing anyone’s choice. Suggestions?
A: First, stop worrying so much! it’s your name, after all, so it’s perfectly appropriate to state your preference. Break it to your son-in-law gently: “I’m delighted that we’ve gotten close enough that you want to call me Mom, but truthfully, I’m more comfortable with ‘Sue.’” You can add that this will avoid confusion when the two sets of in-laws get together at family events. Issue your request in a friendly way (be sure to tell your daughter, as well) and then let it go. Even if he forgets from time to time, why ruffle what sounds like a nice relationship with your daughter’s new husband?
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I agree that you have the absolute right to be called by your name if that is your desire. But after reading this answer, I feel like this might not necessarily be the best reaction to what is clearly an act of great affection. Its important to remember that your son-in-law may be calling you Mom for your daughter’s comfort as well as yours or his. And although your family dynamic is your business and nobody else’s, many in-laws actually expect their children’s spouses to call them Mom and Dad. Please make certain you are doing your best to show your love and support to your daughter and her husband. I guess what I am saying is that if I were in Mom’s shoes, I would try very, very hard to see if “Mom” would be a fit going forward.
No way!! So many people have strained or downright cold relationships with their in-laws. Your son-in-law is comfortable enough with you to consider you a second mother. That is a true gift! Even if you cringe, just bite your tongue and ignore it. If you tell him, “Thank you, but please call me Sue,” I can not imagine the person who wouldn’t feel offended and/or embarrassed.
I completely agree. I tried calling my mother-in-law mom and she said, “oh, no. you already have a mother”. Well, needless to say our relationship took many years before it became amicable.